I do quite a bit of my writing at night and often I watch campy old movies to keep me company. I can tell you that "In Like Flint" has come on more than a couple of times in the last year so has "Salt & Pepper". I watch these movies as well as things like "Columbo", "McCloud" and "McMillan & Wife" because they actually remind of when we only had one television in the house. So the whole family watched a whole bunch of campy spy flicks, whodunnits and the like (whether we wanted to or not). The same thing happened at Aunt Etta's house (our babysitter) when the 4:30 movie came on—-us kids had no choice but to watch it together. (The only exception: the vampire-based soap,"Dark Shadows", which I was forbidden to partake in because it gave me nightmares.) Yeah, I was a lightweight. Now we're living...
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Have you ever bought aspirin? Filled a prescription? Written a check for a co-pay at the doctor’s office? Sure you have. People spend hundreds—if not thousands—of dollars every year on medical expenses. That’s why Flexible Spending Accounts, or FSAs, are so fantastic: If you use them correctly, they can save you serious cash on expenses you’re incurring anyway.
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On our last family trip to visit my parents in my hometown, Kansas City, it occurred to me that one of the reasons we have so much fun there is that we make the rounds of our “favorites” – our favorite hamburger joint, our favorite ice-cream store, our favorite toy store, our favorite book store, our favorite barbeque place (several contenders for this—it’s Kansas City, after all!)
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If the wish fairy suddenly granted you a healthy chunk of money wrapped in ribbon made of twenty-dollar bills, what kind of home improvements would you make? Remodel the kitchen and replace the flooring? Or something more practical, like buying new windows and springing for a new furnace? If you’re leaning toward the practical, you’re so last year.
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Do you have a retirement account? A 401(k) or an IRA of some kind? There’s a reason it’s called a “retirement” account: You’re not supposed to touch it until you retire.
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One of my Twelve Personal Commandments is to "Spend out." This somewhat cryptic phrase encompasses several resolutions, but one aspect of “spending out” is to remember to spend money appropriately. I’m an under-buyer, so I need to make a special effort to buy even the things that I truly need.
And yesterday I actually bought some pens.
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It’s a common money-saving mantra: “Try generic,” the experts say. “You might like it.” If you avert your gaze from the more-expensive eye-level shelves at the grocery store, you’ll notice these products hanging out meekly above and below—store brand, not nearly as pretty, but definitely cheaper. At the drugstore, I find them sitting right next to the name-brand products they’re competing against. “Pick me!” they seem to say. “I’ve got the exact same active ingredients!”
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Every year I think about having a simpler holiday season: Fewer gifts, more meaningful traditions, less stress. My family has even talked about taking a great trip together instead of exchanging presents—making memories instead of making purchases. And yet (almost) every year, I still end up spending more than I intended, rushing-rushing-rushing through my hectic holiday calendar, and breathing a huge sigh of relief on January 1st when my life can finally return to normal.
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Here’s something to do—or rather, not do—that has boosted my happiness and (I bet) the happiness of the people around me: I’m trying to resist the urge to talk about things that are annoying me.
One of my favorite authors, Samuel Johnson, observed: “To hear complaints is wearisome alike to the wretched and the happy.” I finally realized the truth of that statement.
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A couple of weeks ago, when I offered my first gratitude list, I said it would be the first of many. I also said that I would post a few more that week. Well, that didn't happen (at least I'm honest). Anyway, the next list I want to offer up are the things I'd never thought I'd be grateful for——the not so good things that happened that I wouldn't change. So here's my list (in no particular order): I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE GRATEFUL FOR: A broken heart. I can still remember my first heartbreak at the age of 16 and every subsequent one. But each love has taught me both more about myself and what I want out of a relationship. Having a vicious lie spread about me. This one took a long time. Having a so-called friend spread a damaging untruth had visions of revenge running in...
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Your 401(k), that is. I have some 401(k) money sitting in an old employer plan right now, and to be honest, I don’t look at it all that much. I subscribe to the idea that I don’t need those funds for a few decades, and checking the balances every day is only going to needlessly stress me out. However, given all the zigging and zagging of the stock market last year, it’s fair to assume that my money isn’t necessarily where I left it.
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When my husband and I got married, we kept our finances fairly separate. It wasn’t until we had a baby that we decided that our you-pay-for-this, I’ll-pay-for-that method of accounting probably wasn’t going to cut it. So for now, we both contribute to and draw from one big bucket. When I buy something, he knows about it, and vice versa. Clearly that's not the only way to handle the family finances.
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Lately, it feels like I get a notice every week from one of my credit card companies telling me that one of my interest rates is going up, or that my over-the-limit fee is increasing. To be honest, I don’t pay much attention to those letters because I pay my balance in full every month and I’m nowhere near my limit. Now there's a good reason to read the fine print.
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One of my favorite happiness-project Secrets of Adulthood is “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” But how, you might ask, does this apply in real life? Here’s a good example: decision-making.
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I am easily distracted. I spend most of my day at a computer, and sometimes I find that certain websites suck my productivity right down the drain. (I’m not naming names, but one of them might start with an “F” and end with “acebook.”) Recently I decided I needed to put an end to it, and I went looking for a tool that would save me from myself. Let me introduce you to my new favorite program: LeechBlock.
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Interoffice dating is bound to happen. After all, these are the people with whom you spend the majority of your day. If you’re going to be attracted to someone, your coworker is an easy choice. But as David Letterman is finding out, it’s not always the smartest one. If you’re going to dip your pen in the company ink (so to speak), read on for some guidelines.
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Something that always cheers me up – when I muster the energy to do it – is to clean up. I find it relaxing to put things away, and a tidy environment calms my mind. It may not be true for everyone, but I certainly find that outer order bring inner calm. Chucking junk mail, putting dirty clothes in the hamper, arranging everything to fit in the medicine cabinet…these kinds of activities never fail me.
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Oftentimes, when we think about what we're grateful for we often point to the things that are right in front of our faces: the roof over our heads, our health, our wonderful family and friends, etc... But I decided to look at gratitude in a few different ways and today I want to offer you my list of the immeasurable things I'm grateful for—they're the things that have enhanced my life in ways I would have never imagined. Yesterday is not always a roadmap for tomorrow. Each day, we have the opportunity to live the life we want and be the person we want to be. Our memories keep loved ones alive in our hearts long after they've left this earth. Cherish their stories and share them with others. Fear can push us to do great things if we learn to channel that energy instead of letting it paralyze us....
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I realize that the economy’s gone kind of haywire. But at no point have I turned to my husband and said, “Honey, let’s pull all of our money out of the bank and hide it in a pillowcase.” Apparently, the young adults of America feel differently. According to a new survey from Microsoft, 1 in 5 young adults between ages 18 and 29 said they wouldn’t even deposit money in a bank. Now, that’s just crazy talk. But wait, there’s more.
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Before I had a baby, I used to log some pretty long hours as a freelance journalist. I wasn’t in an office, so there was no impetus to get home—I was already there. And I was usually working toward several deadlines at once, so I often spent evenings and weekends at my desk.
Then I had a baby, and I had to rethink my whole work strategy. Since I spend my evenings and weekends caring for my child, I’ve had to fit my efforts into more normal working hours. And you know what? I’m the better for it. Now that I know that my workday has to end at a specific time, I’m much more efficient and focused on getting things done. As it turns out, I’m not alone in this.
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I was inspired by an observation by Voltaire to make my resolution, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” In other words, instead of pushing myself to an impossible “perfect,” and therefore getting nowhere, I accept “good.” Many things worth doing are worth doing badly. I have a friend who never exercises unless she’s training for a marathon; as a consequence, she almost never exercises. I never push myself when I exercise, and although I suspect she scoffs at my wimpy work-outs, I’ve managed to get myself to exercise several times a week for years. If I’d tried to have a more ambitious work-out, I’m sure I would have given up exercising long ago. Along the same lines, I told a friend that one of my happiness-project resolutions was to “Remember birthdays,” and so I was sending out happy-birthday emails. He said, “Oh, you shouldn’t email! You...
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I recently had lunch with a friend who confessed that she was annoyed with herself for not getting her hair done for the occasion. Her roots were showing and it bothered her. Meanwhile, I was having a longer than necessary talk with myself about my serious need for a hair cut and color. The funny thing is neither one of us noticed what the other was so self-conscious about (even though we're both in the image/beauty world). After that I asked myself in my best Carrie Bradshaw voice...."how often do we drive ourselves crazy about little things no one notices?" We all know that the answer is too often. But why? Is it that we are our own worse critics? Or are we secretly dissecting other people's appearances and actions and expecting them to do the same? Or have we been measuring ourselves by some impossible standard we'll never live...
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A few days ago, I bought tomatoes at the grocery store, and the store clerk charged me more per pound than they should’ve cost. It was probably a total difference of about 75 cents, but I was irritated. First of all, I’d chosen those tomatoes specifically because they were the least expensive, and secondly, I’m always a little annoyed when stores advertise one price and charge another.
Once I’d paid, I walked back to the produce section to make sure I wasn’t imagining things. I wasn’t—I’d been overcharged. (Not by much, I’ll grant you, but it’s the principle of the thing.) So I returned to the line I’d just left, receipt in hand, and after a brief delay, I finally left the store, vindicated. But I also felt a little bit sheepish. I mean, was it really worth the hassle for 75 measly cents?
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If you have $50 left in your checking account, and you try to use your debit card for a $75 grocery tab, will your bank let it go through? If you said yes, you’re in good company. And you’re also in the majority if your bank charges for the privilege—often to the tune of $30 or more per transaction. It’s called an overdraft fee, and it can add up quickly.
But did you know you may be able to decline it?
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I detest being criticized, corrected, or accused – even of the smallest mistakes – and I react very angrily. I’ve wrestled this instinct under control in a professional context, more or less, but I have more trouble with it at home. All it takes is for my daughter to say something like, “You forgot to remind me to bring my library book,” or my husband to say, “Didn’t you remember to pack toothpaste?” to send me into a tirade.
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What if your two-liter bottle of soda suddenly cost 50% more? Would you still buy it? Congress is still debating the idea of a tax on sugar-rich soft drinks to raise money for health care and discourage people from drinking them. And I wonder: Will it actually make a difference?
And are you for it or against it?
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Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you didn’t know if you were overreacting – or not? Whether you should be worried – or not? Whether you need to get a different doctor or a different boyfriend?
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Sometimes, by coincidence, several people mention the same happiness-boosting idea around the same time, so it hits me with particular force. A wonderful doctor is a tremendous source of comfort and reassurance; at the same time, over the last few weeks, three friends mentioned to me how much happier they were after they switched doctors.
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Everybody’s heard of a money back guarantee. Maybe you’ve even taken advantage of one. Now, it seems, GM is offering money back in a really big way—on a car. Buy a vehicle between September 14 and November 30 this year, and you can return it within 60 days for a full refund. This isn’t an extra-absorbent mop that retails for $19.95 plus shipping and handling. This is, say, a Cadillac. So what’s the catch?
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A surprising number of people ask me about buying life insurance for their children. You know, the kind sold as an investment—you pay in for 18 to 25 years, and your pride and joy will have a tidy little nest egg she can use to pay for college or her first home. I spoke to a couple of financial experts on the subject, and I can now reliably tell you: Step away from the whole-life policy.
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To my surprise, I’ve noticed that when I’m trying to form a habit or stick to a resolution, it’s often easier for me to do it every day than to do it some days. I post to my blog six days a week. I write in my one-sentence journal every day. When working on my book/, I wrote something every day, even on the weekends. Many people have told me that they find it easier to exercise when they exercise every day.
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When I was expecting my first child, I bought a video baby monitor. Months later, it’s awfully nice to be able to
see my little girl when she’s sleeping peacefully or rolling around
in her crib chewing on her feet. But lately, the image on the monitor has been a
little…green. And distorted. And sometimes not there at all.
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By now you know how much I love old movies. And of course, one of my favorites is "All About Eve". I adore this flick not just for Bette Davis' snarky one-liners but also because it is an object lesson on so-called fast friendships, blind ambition and in whom one should place their trust. It seems that Eve Harrington transforms from down-on-her-luck wanna be actress into a conniving star in a blink of an eye. Perhaps the transformation wouldn't have seen so sudden if the story had been told from (Thelma Ritter) Birdie's perspective—because she saw through the fantasy persona from the beginning. It took everyone else a while to see what was really happening. I bring this up because I think we're all susceptible to inviting an Eve Harrington into our lives. (Hint: she may not always be as ruthless as Anne Baxter.) This usually happens when we become...
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Recently, a friend told me she was getting divorced, and I was anxious to say the right thing. Later, I asked some people I know who are divorced about what kinds of comments are helpful or, more important, unhelpful -- I was more worried about what not to say.
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So I’ve been cooking at home more lately. Even though food
delivery is ridiculously convenient in Manhattan, it’s not cheap. (And takeout
certainly isn’t the best way to fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans.)
It seems I’m in good company. Two out of three U.S. adults
have altered their cooking and eating habits due to the economy, and about half
are eating dinner at home more often, according to a recent survey from Whole
Foods Market.
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We’ve all had the experience of having to make phone calls that we dread making. Here are twelve tips to get yourself through these calls as painlessly as possible...
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I am definitely a morning person. I take the dog for a leisurely walk, check e-mail, pay bills, and drink coffee all before getting ready for work. I don't have to worry about getting kids up and out, so my mornings are probably more peaceful than most.
But don't roll your eyes just yet. In the October issue, seven women revealed their strategies for a calm and productive morning. One mom preps everything in advance. Another sets realistic expectations (clothes and shoes don't match? no problem). And another turns getting out of bed into a competitive game. Though the routines are different, what they share is a new relaxed start to the day.
What's your biggest challenge in the morning? Do you have a morning strategy of your own? Share it here!
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Have you ever found a great dress on sale at your favorite
website, but it’s not available in your size? And you think to yourself, “If
only I’d known about this sooner!” Turns out you can, if you know what to watch for.
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Thinking about happiness often means balancing one person’s views against another person’s — I’ve been thinking about kids’ clothing. My older daughter has definite ideas about what clothes she likes and dislikes. And her tastes and my tastes clash. I’d love for her to wear classic children’s clothing—Peter Pan collars, wool dresses. But that’s not what she wants to wear.
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This summer, I have taken quite a few road trips. I don't mind driving long distances when I know where I'm going but when I don't let's just say I get a little cranky. Generally, I only find myself turned around when I take a side trip (like trying to find a Dunkin Donuts for a much needed caffeine boost). Truthfully, I would like to have a talk with the person who put a sign off of I-95. When I followed the sign, it led my right back onto the highway—leaving my quite perturbed and perplexed (and still in need of caffeine). I found myself on a road that led me nowhere. That got me thinking about what happens when find ourselves going nowhere in our lives. There's no sign pointing us back on track so we might find ourselves taking the same actions over and over again with the...
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Do you have a retirement account? 401(k)? IRA? Life
insurance?
Now, quick: Who’d you choose to be the beneficiary on that
account?
The what, you ask? The beneficiary is the person who would
receive those funds if you kicked the bucket. Most of us pick a beneficiary when
we open this kind of account and never look at it again, despite the fact that
we get married, divorced, and have children. When I was a single gal, my mother
and father were the beneficiaries on all of my accounts. When I got hitched, I
switched everything over to my husband.
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Most of us have a few pet peeves. My mother-in-law can’t stand to listen to people talk on their cell phones. My husband doesn’t like seeing dirty dishes on the kitchen counter. Don’t get me started on airport security or email spam.
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I’ve always been of the opinion that men and women are
equally capable of managing their own finances. But a recent survey highlights
some differences between the sexes that I find, well, a little disheartening.
Financial Finesse, a financial education company, asked men and women a series
of questions about their money. Read on to see what popped up.
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Over the weekend, I started cleaning out my dresser drawers and bedroom closets. My aim was to get rid of all the clothes I've been holding onto that no longer fit, I was never going to wear again and was flawed in some way (holes, spots, etc...). I wanted to make room for new things or at the very least be able to see the things that really mattered. But what I was doing physically was really just a reflection of what was happening in my head. I am trying to clear my cluttered mind. For the past few weeks, I have been on a mission trying to purge all the unnecessary stuff I think about. You know, things like 'what I am going to say to ____________ when or if__________'. Or 'I can't believe I did ____________'. And the other subjects that play on the endless loop in my...
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I love the before-and-after format. I pore over magazine articles that show before-and-after kitchens or closets, or that feature beauty make-overs. Many people apparently feel the same way – just look at number of TV based on before-and-after: The Biggest Loser, Pimp My Ride, Extreme Makeover, Trading Spaces, Nanny 911…
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I take my own popcorn to the movies. That’s right: When I
enter a theater, I’m inevitably carrying a large purse that smells ever so
subtly of Orville Redenbacher’s. If you touched my bag, it’d crinkle. Unless, of
course, you managed to find the cans of soda I was also smuggling in. When the
lights go down, I’m the woman popping the top on a root beer I brought straight
from my own stash.
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No, I’m not asking about the money you spend. I’m asking how
you feel about spending money. Spendthrifts feel little pain when
shelling out cash, while Tightwads feel a great deal of pain. And according to
new research, the two often marry each other.
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I think just about everyone knows that they’re supposed to
have an emergency fund—something to tide them over in case of, well, an
emergency. (And no, finding a really great pair of shoes doesn’t count.) So I
was surprised to learn recently that nearly half of Americans don’t have enough
money in savings to make it through even a month if they lost their jobs.
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I’m from Kansas City, Missouri (just a few blocks from the Kansas state line, but we Kansas Citians care a lot about the distinction), and a few days ago, I had dinner in New York with one of my best friends from high school, who now lives in Brooklyn. We were talking about Kansas City, and she told me that she’d decided that Midwesterners really were more friendly and enthusiastic than people on the East Coast.
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Yesterday, a repairman from Time Warner Cable stopped by my
apartment to take a look at our DVR box, which has been acting up from the
moment it was installed. He came, he saw, he promptly replaced it with a new
(functioning!) box. I was delighted. I was ecstatic. And then I wondered: Should
I tip him?
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