Disclaimer: I am not yet a parent. However, it would seem to me that your children being engrossed in that news coverage shows that they have an interest in things happening outside their own world, and to me that is a good and healthy thing. It's sad, scary, and awful, but it's in context of real life that at 11 and 14, they're probably starting to learn more and more about it every day. Maybe this will spark a discussion about what you all *can* do to help--you're not completely powerless. Donating allowance money is one way to help, or maybe you can choose a cause to get involved in (either with time, talent, or treasure) that's closer to home where they can more readily see the effects and benefits.

I agree with limiting the exposure. If I had to make a similar call, I'd allow watching the 1/2 hour national nightly news, but not the hours and hours that we now have access to since the news went 24/7. I think at ages 14 & 11, kids are aware when world events happen.

I am not yet a parent, either (although I will be in 6 months!), but I am a teacher. I know some colleagues have let their students (third grade and up) see some short snippets of the news coverage online, but I'm not sure how I feel about it. As a child, I could handle hearing about things like this, but the actual images really were too much. If I saw a scary movie, I would have nightmares for months, but I could read a book with the same content and be fine. I think that every kid is different and you know what your own can handle.

I think it's very child specific. We went out to one of our favorite restaurants last week and they happened to have just installed two large flat-screen TVs in the restaurant (arggghhh!). And they were running coverage of the earthquake. Our son is only 6 (but at 3rd grade level academically) and he would be quite upset and fixated on the images if he saw them. I think that it's important to talk to kids about people in need and get them involved but some of the images I've seen on TV in the last week have haunted me and I would not want kids to see those same images.

My sons are 14 and 16, just a couple of years ahead of yours, and I can assure you, letting them see that they are lucky and blessed while understanding that bad things happen is a valuable lesson. Teenagers are VERY self centered by nature and it is important to constantly remind them of the world around them, especially if your personal at home life is a very good one. Mission trips, fundraisers, tutoring at risk kids, working in soup kitchens all helps them to appreciate their own families. Believe me, this is a difficult feeling for even the best of teens! The other lesson is that America is a wonderful place, even with its many problems. I think your sons are plenty old enough to being learning these facts of life.

This was a big struggle for me, too. I go back to the wisdom of Mr. Rogers. He said that when talking about tragedy with young children, focus on the people who are doing good.

I show her parts of the struggle of the people and talk A LOT about the people who are trying so very hard to help.

I just believe in Mr. Rogers!

I wrote about my experience here: http://aboutcreate.blogspot.com/2010/01/haiti.html

While I completely understand how horrific some of the images of Haiti are, have you taken a moment to think how lucky you are as a parent to get to decide whether or not you can shield your children from them? You are absolutely right that there is plenty of pain in the world that your children will have encounter as they grow up, but you will not always have the opportunity you do now to share your wisdom and understanding as they encounter it.

Walt Disney believed that children need to be exposed to the realities of life as much as the possibility of their imaginations (which is why Bambi's mother died, among other things). It's better to put a tragedy like this in context for them, as the other excellent comments suggest, than to let them encounter something like this later in life and feel that they were somehow deceived about the way the world is. I love the idea of focusing on what good is being done there.

I have actually talked to my little one who is 4 years old. I showed her some pictures on the internet...nothing too graphic. I was careful as not to shock her.
I tried in my way to tell that some kids have unfortunatley lost their parents, house, food, water and clothing and asked her if she would like to give something of hers for the kids.

I am not sure if it was the right approach but I wanted her to know a little bit of what is hapenning. She has a lot of questions and to why such things happen..who is helping them. I am trying to answer as the best I could.

Hi Kristin,

You know,from the perspective of a therapist and coach, I think that the kids themselves, along with what you wish for them, provide the guidance --

Don't we all dearly wish for our kids to feel safe and secure -- as well as to grow into compassionate people! Exposing kids to material that overwhelms them is traumatic, and trauma prevents kids from feeling secure. However, what overwhelms (is traumatic to) one child will not overwhelm another, and age is not always a good indicator. Behavior is more helpful. A child who is likely to be afraid to go to school (or to bed) because of the possibility of losing mom or dad in an earthquake can cope with far less exposure than a less fearful child. Embrace their capacity to cope and choose accordingly. Similarly, perhaps your older boys are showing you that they're ready to know more.

Generally -- for kids under five, I'd avoid the TV entirely but answer simply and directly any questions that they ask. Little kids are not helped by having fears raised of losing their parents or being crushed alive; they'll deal with fears like these as they are able to cope with them, hopefully metaphorically through fairy tales. For six to nines, I'd assume that they've heard enough at school that it needs to be a topic of conversation at home -- but still guided by their own questions and -- this is key -- by their own level of intensity. To kids, often these things feel very far away and improbable, while to adults, the world can seem like it's going to .... in a handbasket :). If your child is not as upset as you yourself are, match his intensity rather than conveying your own. Older kids can enter into much deeper conversations about getting aid to Haiti and the barriers to this; and most school-age kids can learn a sense of responsibility for others by choosing some small way to help. All kids benefit from some perspective to help them understand that even though they see an ongoing array of terrible events on television, it's a big world, and these things are actually relatively rare.

For me -- I think I've had as much news as I can handle for today. And I suppose teaching kids to protect themselves from the nonstop barrage of today's media is also a crucial life skill. So -- I'm turning the TV off now and grabbing an escape novel, a glass of milk and a few back-to-the-womb Lorna Doones :)

Good Luck!

This article has some great ideas on how to talk with your kids about the Haitian disaster: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/3-ways-kids-can-help-haiti.html

My boys, ages 15, 10 and 7, have all seen images on TV, although not too much. My youngest goes to a Christian school, and they have been praying for the people of Haiti, and collecting money to send. There is a fine line--our children need to know of the things that happen in their world, yet to be consumed by it is not healthy. It's important to teach them compassion, gratitude and empathy. They need to see our reaction to the tragedies around us, and learn how to become caring inhabitants of this world we live in, and how, when bad things happen, good can come out of it.

I am in the process of continuing to raise three children, 16, 19, and 21, and if by 11 and 14 you are not sharing everything about Haiti with them, then you are raising them in a bubble. They need to learn to appreciate what they have and why they have it, and to understand how such disasters occur. They can lose their material things, and still have others who will love and care for them, and many other real life lessons. My children where in elementary school and middle school when 9-11 occurred. They watched it all and learned from it as well. I know we all do the best we can to raise our children well, however, I was raised by loving parents who were too protective, and have decided never to raise my children like that, and have not.

I've not only limited my son's exposure to this disaster, I'm limited my own. There's only so much suffering I can watch. If that means I live in a bubble, then I live in a bubble. I've made my donation and I feel terrible, but that doesn't mean I have to watch endless suffering on tv.

These comments are all so interesting; thank you. I think the smartest advice is to led your children and their own personalities guide you, in terms of what they can and cannot take. Thinking of Michellee's comment: my kids, unfortunately, lived through 9/11 and know two families who lost fathers and uncles. That tragedy had quite an affect on my kids (as you might imagine), and I think is a large part of my motivation for keeping the Haiti coverage limited, at least in my little household.

I have four children 9-16.
Concerning Haiti, I personally don't want to watch too much on the t.v.
I have done my small share financially and I continue to pray. I find the constant updates to be very depressing.
However, I did talk to all of my children about the earthquake, the devastation and the potential for disease. I have not prevented my 16 year old from watching the news, nor have I encouraged her to do so, she knows what she can handle emotionally.
I think it is important to not scare my children, but also (if they are mature enough,and I imagine that each mom knows her own kids best) to let them know a little bit about reality (in small doses esp. for the younger ones).

i'm not a parent yet, but i am a news junkie (thanks to my parents, who were also news junkies!) i think it has a lot to do with the maturity of each child. i think that every kid should be told what is happening in haiti, but not every child should see the footage. some of it even turns my stomach, so i can't imagine what it would do to a kid. however, so many american kids live wealthy and privileged lives compared with children in the rest of the world. they need to be made to understand that they are the exception, not the rule, and that they are incredibly blessed to live where they do. the poorest of the poor in america have more than the average haitian right now, and i think this is a good thing to remember for all of us--kid or adult.

When I was growing up my parents shielded me from many things on the media and assumed that I would learn about them when I was older. Now that I'm a young adult, I'm learning about so many atrocities for the first time and I feel ignorant of much of the world because of my parents. Exposing your children to reality is a good thing. Explaining the things they see to them is even better. Don't let them grow up ignorant of reality.

You know I am really glad that you had the courage to post such an honest blog. I found myself wondering that same thing just the other day. I kind of have it that I have a responsibility especially because we are black however I too have been apprehensive about showing the images on television to the children. We listened to a bit of the reporting on the NPR and I have struggled with my own feelings of being almost numb...desensitized maybe to the suffering around the world because its always something. I noticed my own resistance to watching anything on television for my own self let alone to be bombarded with questions from the children about whats happening, why, why would God allow such a thing, blah blah blah.

I found a bit of comfort that Id like to share with you though. My daughter and I went to a yoga class and the instructor (Latin Caldwell) talked about an intention for the practice and we had a moment of silence for those in Haiti. I was present to a yoga workshop she and I attended together at Kripalu in Massachusettes a couple of years ago. I remember when I was crying about feeling powerless in my practice, what was the impact of yoga and holistic living if there were not "better results" that I was experiencing. There was a woman, who in her comment said that with every breath one less woman is being raped, one less person is victimeized around the world that I may not know.

We certainly dont know one another but I was captivated by your blog and with much humility, love, respect, and appreciation would like to say to you, our children are stronger and more insightful than we can possibliy imagine. I would answer any question they have honestly and thoughtfully including some of the history of the country. There is a teachable moment here as well. Haiti was living in a condition of poverty unlike anything I think we experience in the United States and the economic opportunity that is present for the community development in the country may have never happened the way that it will happen now as a result of such a tragedy.

The opportunity for our children to see Americans operate in such a unified, compassionate, giving manner...the adoption of the children, collection of medical supplies, clothes, food, and corporate giving just because we care. The whole world is now focused on making a difference for each other. I think those are things that we can thoughtfully discuss with our children within our concern for shielding them from things that we are uncertain about the impact of. Yoga is an incredible way to connect with your children and deepen their understanding and awareness of their own power.

Thank you for the opportunity to express my feelings about something I have thought about but had not said or written.

Warmest Regards

Do not shield them. It is good. Someday when they are on their own (hopefully) there will be no shield, and if they are not ready they will be devastated by all the suffering in the world. Seeing other people suffering will prepare them for life, which is always full of suffering. If you shield them from suffering (not to mention death) they will grow up unaware of the way things really are (that everyone suffers and eventually dies), and the true nature of themselves (which is that they will die one day too).

have you considered prayer? Not any particular religion, just show your children that they can pray for these people who are dying by the thousands while they waste their lives away on their PSPs.

Prayer doesn't have to be attached to religion. Directing your thoughts and energy toward something can be very powerful.