Actually, no one really started using this annoying buzzword until Oprah crammed it down everyone's throats.

I think you have very much misunderstood what people are asking when they ask that question.

Of course work/career is part of who we are, that is a given. What they're asking is what is the ratio? Do you skip lunches to get more work done, or work when you get home or go back to the office on weekends, or work late? That is what they mean by work/life balance. You need to take care of yourself at the same time, time to think, to eat, to chat to your work friends. It goes the other way too, not ditching work to stay out late etc.

This is what they mean, and it is a very real and important question.

I think that a healthy intertwinement of work/life is better that work life balance. In order for it to be considered balanced it must be 50/50 and that is quite not possible in real life.

Interestingly, I did leave my VP position as part of the process of learning the lesson you describe. Like rebooting a computer, it wasn't until I shut down and stepped away that I was able to see how much I had allowed the prestige, status, money, and the things I purchased with the money to define who I was and what was important to me. As a result, when I did return to work about three years later (into a completely different career and with a decidedly different attitude about what it means to be who I am at work and at home) I could see things that I might not have seen from the vantage point of the position I once held. Today I make less money, my house is smaller and I am more careful with my purchases, but I have the pleasure of guiding young minds as a college professor and am thrilled that my first book - a memoir describing this process of letting go and following my heart - is scheduled to release with a wonderful publisher in May. Call it balance or call it integration, either way I needed some distance to understand who I was in it...