Very simple. Call your local Kingdom Hall (listed under churches in the Yellow Pages) and request a visit from someone who will meet you at your home, free of charge, at a time that is convenient for you and your family. They will bring appropriate literature (including Bibles and Bible study aids for all family members) and there is absolutely no obligation or charge to you. Any questions you may have will be answered truthfully and directly from the scriptures. "Happy are those conscious of their spiritual need", Matthew 5:3.

We've also decided not to raise our 7 year-old son in a specific religion or church. Here are some things I've found to help guide me in my quest to teach our son what we believe is important.

A NEW EARTH FOR KIDS (stories & questions)
http://www.unityfamilymatters.org/articles/NSFM/index.html

MORAL & SPIRITUAL STORIES (age appropriate with questions for reflection)
http://www.unityfamilymatters.org/bedTimeStories/index.html

STORY OF RELIGION (for kids about all major religions)
http://www.amazon.com/Story-Religion-Betsy-Maestro/dp/0395623642/ref=wl_itt_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I3BO1AZMBQSPKC&colid=39LB5WPTQ6JSK

I became disillusioned with the church of my childhood when I was in high school. During my college years, I didn't attend church at all, which felt strange because I went every Sunday growing up. My husband and I tried different churches over the years, but it wasn't until we had children that we decided that it was important to find a church and attend regularly again. We have been in the same church for 14 years now, ever since our two sons were 3 years and 8 months old. Not only have we attended services regularly, we all participate in choir, Bible studies, Sunday School, and service projects. It is the single best thing we could have ever done for our sons' spiritual and character development. The Christian community, warts and all (everyone is still only human), helped us raise our sons to be better people. Now, church is a second home to them, and to us. We could not have gotten through the job losses, illnesses, and other life challenges without these people. It is worth the time and effort to find a place like this for your family!

I was raised Mormon, my husband Southern Baptist. We decided very early on that we did not want the same brainwashing we had, although some of both religions served us well, We've both loved investigating and finding what works for us, 30 years later ... We are now very active in United Centers for Spiritual Living, it's open to ALL denominations, all races, walks of life and is based on prayer and Oneness. Also known as Church of Religious Science - NOT Scientology, as some mistake it for. Check out Louise Hay books, or Ernest Holmes for more info - it is fascinating!

Love,
SL

I agree with you that individuality and freedom of thought are important because God did give us the gift of free will. And his word does tell us that" each of us will render an account to him alone and not in comparison with another". Also, I feel that love is very important, because the two greatest commandments are to "love God with your whole heart soul and mind and strength and to love your neighbor as yourself" .

Regarding organized religion though, I do feel that it's important for a person to look into the Bible to see if worshiping God on our own is acceptable him or not? After all he is the one we want to please and draw close to. By looking into Bible we can take his feeling into an account.

In studying the bible, one thing that I have found interesting in answering that question can be seen by what God has established through Jesus Christ in the form of worship.

Please take time to look up these scriptures in your own personal copy of the Bible - Acts 14:23 Acts 16:4,5 Revelation 1:4.
In each of these scriptures they helps us to understand that the 1st century worshippers of God were apart of a "congregation".

Also another point to take into consideration is that the apostle Paul wrote many letters to congregations, many of which are Bible books- such as the books from Romans to Thessalonians.
So from this I've personally come to find that the true Christian congregation does play a vital role in worshiping God and he's interested in it.
But, in order though for the congregations to be successful , 1Corinthians 1:10 help us to appreciate that these congregations could not be divided in their teaching but be unitified, sticking closely to God's Word. 2Timothy 3:16,17

By looking into the Bible and finding out what it really teaches, has truly brought much happiness to my family life and has built up my spirituality. I encourage you to do the same with all sincerity. It can only draw you and your family closer to God.

Sincerely,
CV

Organized religion has its own traps, but for very young children the programs can "introduce" the ideas of spirituality. If you are not interested then allow your children to 'go with friends' to their church activity and be exposed to a variety of customs and rituals at their age appropriate levels.
Answer Questions they bring home very honestly and openly allowing them to process it all.
When the time is right; they will lead what their spiritual needs are for them. In the mean time you and your husband should practice what YOU believe so they see the example of your spirituality which may be a ritual or practice allowing them to participate. This is a way to give them background in church 'activity' with your committment to change what you do. I believe each person has within them the capacity to choose what is right for them if no one imposes RIGHT attitude on them. You and your husband are the biggest influence in what they will learn about spirituality. God Bless you for asking that to me says a lot about your family values.

When I read your post the first question that rang for me was " I wonder what Adelina and her husband's spiritual practices are"? Are you looking to deepen your spiritual path? If so, then creating your own investigation and spiritual life practices, will in turn, be a wonderful example for your children.

From reading what you wrote it seems like experiences of love, choice, and personal values are spiritual experiences that you would like to provide for your children. I would ask yourself, and your husband how you tangibly experience these qualies in your life? How do you experience god? Perhaps your inquiry will reveal practices, books, special family outings and ceremonies that will instill connection as a lifestyle.

Also, spirituality can be very, very simple. It is a matter of intention. Maybe birthday's, for example, become sacred celebrations of honoring growth, milestones, and reflections on who your children are and who they want to become. When you are connected with love, and present to life, everything and anything can be spiritual or sacred.

Best wishes to your family!

Adelina, I respect the fact that you want this for your daughters. I don't know if possibly you and your husbands experiences were not very positive and that is why you are looking away from the church(?) I totally get that. It seems that the church has developed a bad reputation (their own fault) and have consequently turned alot of people off. Unfortunately some people have been turned off of God as a result. I would suggest that you do some further investigating into different churches before closing this door as there are alot of good ones out there. I think gathering in a place with others of the same belief is important for you and your children, not just for religious customs, but for encourgement and growth in your faith in God and in relationship with others. Good Luck!

Adelina, I respect the fact that you want this for your daughters. I don't know if possibly you and your husbands experiences were not very positive and that is why you are looking away from the church(?) I totally get that. It seems that the church has developed a bad reputation (their own fault) and have consequently turned alot of people off. Unfortunately some people have been turned off of God as a result. I would suggest that you do some further investigating into different churches before closing this door as there are alot of good ones out there. I think gathering in a place with others of the same belief is important for you and your children, not just for religious customs, but for encourgement and growth in your faith in God and in relationship with others. Good Luck!

When I read Adelina's "current big decision she's wrestling with..." it really rung home with me. I have been in the traditional Christian church for 30 years. I am so done with tradition that has nothing to do with God. Just tradition that man has created. I now worship with believers who love Jesus and it's all about relationship, not tradition or "religion". Relationship with each other and with a very real God. It's fun!!! I love going to "church" now! Adelina, your desires for your girls is right on track! I would love to visit with you. You and your husband are right where a growing number of Americans are....!

Hi Adelina!
I have thought a lot about this same question. I was raised Catholic and my husband was raised with no religion. In college I took a class on world religions which was so fascinating in that it opened my eyes to the way different cultures create spiritual communities. I was educated in this realm further as it is that my job takes me to many wedding ceremonies of different religions every year. So more recently I have seen and heard through these many ceremonies the similarities that all religions poses. My idea was that when my daughter is old enough (still a baby) I will tell her about what religion is, tell her a bit about each of the major ones and explain to her as simply as possible how these different religions were ways that people created a moral code and built communities around these codes and ways of thought. I will talk to her about prophets. I will present the idea that the God that these religions speak of is all things good and beautiful in the world and to strive to be like God is to strive be your very best as a person. To have faith is to listen to your inner voice. To pray is to meditate on "God" and goodness. I think thats as specific as I can really get before I see what kind of little girl she will be. I do want my children to have a moral center which I believe will come from me and my husband and our families. As far as building a "spiritual community" for my children I can only continue to fill our family life with positive and loving people. Good luck in your own journey!

Speaking as someone with a very full spiritual life, but not a religious one, I can appreciate your concern. Not only was my mother not religious, she actively disagreed with most religious views. She did, however,teach me how to be a good person with strong morals, using her own life as an example.
I have never found a church where I felt completely at home. I have a number of friends from a wide variety of religions who like to get together once in a while to share personal revelations, stories of faith, and more importantly, doubts...all of which help us each grow into our own unique people.

I concur with Ms. Doyle's Sept. 13 comment.

i'm with those who recommended a unitarian universalist church. it will give your girls some structure and teach them how to think for themselves, so that when they are ready they can choose the place that best fits them. my two children were raised in the uu church, and one both are uus today (although one chooses not to attend a church). it works!

Adelina--

Wow...soooo many people have responded to your comment. It was fun to read. My family became disenchanted with the organized church & we started to go to another church..which incorporates the arts (visual, auditory) into the time together. Our Pastor uses different authors, thinkers, historical quotes within his "message", which he desires to communicate authentic Christianity. It recognizes us for who we are and allowing for all people wherever they are in their faith journey to question & think & explore.

There are many churches like this across the country and the best way to find what is best for you is to visit some and network with others. Our church's website is www.renaissancechurch.org.

also...
pray for God to lead you to what is best..He loves you & your precious children and only wants the best for them...and you, too!.

I find my spirituality in yoga practice, meditation and in my career as a violinist in a symphony orchestra. Music lessons for children should begin at an early age. Yoga and meditation can begin at any stage of life.

First, i think, you and your husband must have a very strong sense of what your own spirituality is and be able to put it into words before you can truly share it with anyone. Once you take the time to do that, i think the way to share it to/with your children will come to you.
Whatever you choose to call that higher spiritual power, and for me it’s God (and for me, God is not just Christian or Jewish or Islamic ... there is only one God, and God just IS!) – “it” is everywhere and can be felt anywhere, so i don't experience God only on Sundays. I experience God every day everywhere i am. Any kind of conscience thought of yourself and how you relate to others and the world around you, to me, that's spirituality.
That said, i'm also what you call a "traditional" church goer; i'm there most every Sunday because i choose to have a weekly structured place of worship with a community, that place where i can engage and share with others who try to live a faith-filled life just like me. We may not always agree on doctrine or even believe in the same way, but we're there nonetheless to express our gratitude for life and each other and the blessings given to us.
Think of it this way: I believe that you wouldn't raise your children without modern medicine and the advice and assistance of doctors and nurses ... the same can be said of people of faith (whatever form or denomination that faith takes). In the United Methodist church, for example, the baptismal covenant doesn't involve just the person being baptized or the parents, the congregation makes an agreement with the family and with God to help provide faith leadership and spiritual guidance for that person, young or old. And, contrary to popular opinion, there are those who lead and work in the organized church who are good, honest, open-minded and caring people, and they can offer open-minded guidance and advice, just like the doctors and nurses! (I know two personally in Tampa: Rev. Brian James at St. James UMC, and Rev. Lia Icaza-Willetts in First UMC, Tampa.)
I don’t have children, but if I did I would be sure to be conscientious, like you, in how I raise them in the ways of faith and spirituality and their relationship to the world around them. I’ll keep sending you good thoughts!

I loved reading (better late than never) your concerns around this topic. I have two young daughters and this is on my mind daily. My husband is jewish and my upbringing is catholic. Both of us believe in God, but have no idea how to organize our beliefs. He knows he does not believe in Jesus, and I have no clue. So, what to do with the girls faith. We try to do rituals we know we believe in (nighttime prayers,etc), but we feel limited and lost not having an array of traditions to follow and community to initiate discussions. I've often said I wish there was a 12 step program (think alcoholics anonymous) for faith. It is very spiritual, without being religious. Of course, my husband says to create it on my own, but that's easier said than done! For now, I try to bring up God daily to my babies and when there is interest in something (currently Noah's ark is a huge hit as well as the toddler obsession with death) we explore it. Every Christmas this brings up baby Jesus and so that's what we do (despite my husband's cringing). I've considered doing bible studies for myself, so I can bring home themes without the religious component to discuss with my family. It is hard though, because we often feel lost having no community affiliation in this arena. I truly believe it takes a village to raise a child.

My mother was a very open and progressive thinker. She introduced us to Judaism, Hinduism and Christianity. I remember having to read a book in 10th grade that offered a description of the world’s religions. The book painted a positive and vivid picture of the core similarities each religion has in its relationship with God. I think this book and my upbringing have provided me with an intellectually honest approach to spirituality without the contrivances of religious ceremony and interpretation. I would like to find a book like that which was offered to me in high school. I do not remember its title but any suggestions would be most appreciated.

Adelina,
I think your off to a right start. You know what is important to you on how you would like them to have a strong sense of spirituality. My mother's side of the family had always taken me to church as a child. I even was baptized and confirmed within their church. I enjoyed listening the stories and teachings, and am thankful that I was able to have that opportunity.
But that is not my choice of church today. And when asked when I am going to allow my children to be baptized, I say no.... I would like it to be there choice...
Growing up in my parents house, I was instilled with our traditional teachings of an american indian. Our religion is not in a church, or within big congregations. Its within ourselves. And I am proud to say, they way my husband and I are raising our kids, they know god, they are in tune with their spirituality. And believe.
Keep up with your guideance and encouraging your children.... Because I know with myself, I have learned a lot more about god and how to be day to day, with the teachings passed down to me outside of a church... And I see my kids the same way.

Dear Adelina,
Your children are beautiful! ! Now to your question...I'm a mother of 4 and THE most important gift I can hope to leave to my children is a strong faith in God. There are lots of different beliefs out there in the world and I've noticed that you have received comments about several of them. I hope your search leads you to our Heavenly Father, because He and His son weren't all that thrilled with organized religion either. (Refer to many of the interactions between Jesus and the Pharisees, that are found in the Gospels of the Bible) I hope you can find fellowship with Christian folks that value a genuine relationship with God and arent trapped in religion.

Children are not the only ones who benefit from church. Adults still learn too. If you choose not to attend a "formal" setting of a church, you are choosing to say that there is no benefit in learning from those who would know more than yourself. You can only raise your children on limited knowledge.
There is something to be said in learning from your elders. Whether they be older in age or in spirituality.
If you believe in the Christian God, there is clear teaching that talks to the benefits of community and learning from those in leadership as well as others.
Even those faiths that proclaim self discovery only get their message out by sharing it with others. When your children ask you something you don't know, you'll have to go to someone else for an answer. Why not benefit from well knit friendships of people you trust and respect.
While parents should be the main source of nurturing and fundamentals, we also need to teach our children that there are others ways of gaining all sorts knowledge. We should encourage them (and ourselves) to look beyond our four walls.
Sending our children to public schools broadens their "book" knowledge by exposing them to those who have studied more than us. Even home schoolers bring their children together with others, so that they can glean from the strength of other parents.
What about, "No man is an island", or "It takes a village to raise a child"? There is alot to be said in allowing our children to see that even Mom and Dad are not afraid to look to others when they themsleves need help.
Spiritual wisdom should be the greatest thing we all should learn because its what we draw on when all else fails and community can be a great source of comfort.

I read your page in the October issue today. Last night my 7-year-old daughter told me that we don't have to really go to church. She said she thinks people can read the Bible and pray every day and that's enough. I agreed that lots of people feel that way, but for us, we rely on God and look to the Bible to see what he says about it. We found the ten commandments and talked about commandment number 4: Honor the Sabbath and keep it holy. We talked about the reasons why Sunday for our family is different. We wake up in the morning knowing we are gathering with other families who feel just like we do about their strong faith in God. We treat that day special and know that we will be thinking about God on purpose and taking a break from the usual activities we do all week. His commandments say we should do this and we do it not only because its refreshing, not only because it feels good to be with other people who have a strong faith in God like we do, but most importantly because God says we should.
When my daughter was born, my husband and I shopped around for a place that felt like home. We weren't looking for formal worship or a congregation that did some kind of special set of customs. We just wanted to find friends to share our spiritual life with. It took us over a year to find the right place, but we had faith that we'd find it. And we did. We now have friends that we are able to talk to intimately about raising kids who know God and about our own spiritual growth. We spend a lot of time together and feel more like family than a "congregation". My husband and I don't really consider ourselves any certain denomination -- we just gather and worship under their roof. But we feel more connected to God because we are connected to our church family. They are more honest with us than our own blood relatives -- which we so need! I hope my story encourages you to take a different perspective on what a "place of worship" can be. I hope you find your home, too.

Hi Adelina -
Just thought you might want to check into the 'new thought' movement. There is Unity and also United Centers for Spiritual Living (both can be found on the web).

Alan Cohen also is a great writer, storyteller and spiritually-gifted individual. In addition to being an excellent speaker and workshop leader, he's written many books that are fun, easy reads. One of his that I read every day is "A Deep Breath of Life" which gives me little snipits to think about throughout my day!!

While the above references are definitely spiritual they are 'dogma-free'. . .none are 'religious' or judgmental!

Blessings,

Karen Jackson, LCSW
Reno, NV