not having a clean organized home for my son..no friends over,etc

not having a clean organized home for my son..no friends over,etc

It makes me feel quilty when my husband comes home from work and runs the vacumm even though I've been busy all day doing other housekeeping chores.

This article helped me realize that I feel completely guilty about not being able to give my husband a child or my parents and in-laws a grandchild. I feel guilty every time I vist because it's just the two of us, and we're not nearly as entertaining or cute as a baby. My husband wants me to be pregnant so badly and there's nothing I can do to beat infertility. It's out of my hands (besides the constant doctor's appointments, medications, rumors of things to try). I read the article as my husband and I were on our way home for Christmas and it helped to make the holidays so much better. My parents want to see me becasue they love me, and when I'm finally blessed with a baby, they'll still want to see me because they love me, and to be doting grandparents.

I married when I was 32. Although I loved "Ron", from the first day of marriage I suspected I had made a mistake. He was angry and depressed all the time. We stuck it out for 2 years, separated, got counseling, got back togetherfor a week, and finally called it quits. During our brief reconciliation, I got pregnant. (I know, I know, very irresponsible). Ron didn't want to be involved but I wanted this child. Ron died from a usually non life-threatening illness not knowing his daughter when she was only 2 years old. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She's a junior in college, majoring in Sociology. She works with AIDS patients and she wants to get a Master's degree in Public Health. She comes home every few weeks and we are very close.
But I've always had this awful guilt about the fact that she had to grow up without a father. I often wonder if Ron would not have died if I had made more of an effort to involve him in her life. But sometimes, deep-down, I feel like we are better off without him, and I feel like a such a terrible person for thinking that. My head tells me I'm ok, but my heart says something else.

I'm 60 years old. At long last, when I was 46, I met a very good man in Japan. He was much younger and we had a culture difference. We love each other, still. BUT... I made a big mistake. After marrying and bringing him to the States, I was in a hurry to "nest"... I wanted to provide him a home he would feel happy to return to at night since he was a long way from home. Although I didn't buy anything extravagant, I purchased modest (but new) furniture, kitchen items needed to cook, etc. In short, I ran up credit cards. This man doesn't believe in credit and in the past only purchased what he could afford to pay cash for, and as long as he owes money, he isn't happy. To make things worse, I talked him into buying a small house which turned out to have a lot of trouble and we ended up selling. I don't think that much about debt; I figure everyone has it, and we don't have a HUGE debt. I was raised on credit. But it bothers my husband extremely and, although he says he still loves me, I feel his feelings toward me have changed and the debt colors evey aspect of our lives. Since I always had gotten jobs easily in the past, I honestly thought "no problem... I will just work and polish off the debt". I was shocked to find out no one wants a 60-year-old, regardless of resume and experience, especially in Ohio where jobs are scarce. I have probably sent in close to 200 resumes and have only gotten 1 interview and never got the job. With every rejection my ego is crumbling away and my guilt mounts. I now hate to send in resumes knowing they will be rejected. I have no control if someone will hire me or not, but I blame myself for the debt and for my inability to get a job, and much worse, maybe...I feel my husband's resentment. I've asked him what he wants me to do because he knows I have tried and tried. I did a horrible thing to run up debt. I would not do it now, especially knowing that my husband doesn't CARE about coming home to a nice house, that he would be happy as a clam coming home to orange crates if it meant we were debt free. My guilt is overwhelming, knowing I've ruined probably my last chance at happiness and that I have made him unhappy when all I wanted to do was to make him happy and give him a good home. Hell is indeed paved with good intentions. I cry every day and am just hoping that in 1 year and 2 months, when I get to collect my social security, that it will help with the debt and I can be relieved of some of this guilt I'm carrying.

My two young children have life-threatening food allergies. In order to develope an allergy to a food, an individual must be exposed to that food. Because I am the person who feeds my children, I know that I, by feeding them, set off a series of events that have put them in serious danger. When they have allergic reactions, it is almost always to something that I have given them because I give them almost all of their food. I feel horribly guilty that I have caused my children to suffer.

What DOESN'T make me feel guilty is a better question! I'm paralyzed by guilt, caused mostly by what I haven't been able to accomplish, whether it's deep cleaning the oven or spending more time with family. No matter what I have gotten done in a day, I can't seem to focus on the positive and instead dwell on my shortcomings. I feel that the root of this is the ridiculously fast-paced lifestyle we've all become accustomed to, constantly setting unrealistic expectations for ourselves and others. Can't we all just slow down and enjoy the good life has to offer?

I have been disowned by my whole family. I now have no family in my life nor in the lives of my 2 small children.I feel the guilt every day of my life because I think there are many things I can overlook but co-dependancy and dysfunction beyond any control I finally cannot take anymore.I simply and kindly asked if my mother could please not invovle the lives of my brothers 2 teenage children in the lives of my children.The 2 children of my brother are highly dysfunctional and live with their mother who is a drug addict/alcoholic and is remarried to someone who is a dealer.One of the children has already been in"juvie" related to attempted kidnapping/robbery/grand theft auto.He is 13 years old. The neice is not much better. Long story short I feel guilt because is this something that should be overlooked when i am raising 2 small children who see this.I love my family but they all think it is aweful for the way I feel.GUILT GUILT GUILT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My father is a battling alcoholic and my mom cries every time I talk to her. Things had started slipping away after my father retired. They are living oversees. I feel so helpless. My husband and I offered them to live with us before my father retired. They weren't sure with our suggestion for past 6 years with some silly reasons. But now when I am ready to move on with my life, my mom seemed to think things would be better if living with me. I sent mom a letter saying that it would not be a good idea. I feel that I am punishing them for not listening to me earlier on, although this is not true. And feel very guilty not be able to be there for them although I know by heart that there is nothing I could have done more and could do.

I feel guilty about the fact that I was a drug addict for 15 years and went to prison for 2 years. In prison, I received Jesus into my heart and was saved. I am now on 3 years of sobriety. I have 3 children and was very blessed that they were not taken away from me because of my addiction. My family (Mom and 2 sisters) took care of them. While I was in prison, my oldest son dropped out of high school. He went back when I got out, but dropped out 2 weeks into his senior year and never went back. I'm struggling with him to get his GED. He just stays at home, works out, and smokes weed. I feel that I am the cause of that. I have totally been rehabilitated but still feel like I'm am not doing enough. I will buy, buy, buy for my children and not myself. I am constantly trying to make up for all the pain, heartache, loneliness, etc. that I put them through.

Oy. (And I'm not even jewish). The article hit so many spots. My mom..she lost 5 children between my brother and I, and I grew up hearing..."I fought so hard to have you"...she had a sister, an aunt I adored because she was wild and quirky...I grew up hearing "You're just like your Aunt J" ... Then, she became handicapped over the years...I had 4 kids, worked full time, and EVERY Saturday went to her and took shopping, hair appt..(my dad..hmm...busy)..And I'd hear "Other daughters come out every week and take their mothers to lunch"...the month she died? Whoa. ..Flash forward...married 26 years, mom died (2 years prior), and...I realized I couldn't be married anymore. A combination of an alcoholic spouse (the most totally functional, kind, generous kind)...the fact I'd lived under my moms guilt ( I don't think I could have left if she'd still be alive)...the fact I'd never lived a life I chose to live, and screw up in....children who I blindsided w/ my decision....but finally making a decision for myself by leaving...Guilt...oh yeah.....and I have a counselor and dear friends who continously slap me upside the head for it....I know they're right. I go to bed happy...but...there's always that...but....

I have a wonderful husband of 25 years and yet when I went on a trip of a lifetime with his support...I met my soulmate the first 3 seconds I was away.
I wor ed with my soulmate for a year on the phone everyday to figure it out and then returned to my soulmate to truly figure out if it is what I think it is...and it was and so I came home and told my husband and crushed him...almost literally but I had to...
and so for almost 3 years I have split myself in 2 and have tired to help me,hubby and my kids and be with my soul mate when I ever can for now as my soul mate lives on the other side of the world. My soulmate has even more of a repsonsibility with a handicapped son and elderly mother that my soulmate lives and cares for. So we speak every day at least 4 times a day on the phone and think of ways to be together.
My guilt is immeasurable and I have financial responsibilites that I must tend to here and yet I am sinking further and further as all I want it to be with my soulmate...and to further this quest my soulmate is a woman!
HELP