When all around would fail, you would know, you would remember. You weren't always there for me, but I know you wanted to be. I always knew you loved me and would fight for me. Thank you for wanting me, standing by me when you could and loving me the best you knew how.

Noelle,
Your mom & Claire love you. I'd like to think that I maybe would have been your godmother. I don't know. I got to hold your body while you were still warm from your mom. I'll never forget the wail of pain your mom let out when you were born. I was outside in the hall. I thought it was right when you came out, but no- she was holding her breath then. She didn't give up hope that you would be alive until she held you for herself and realised that yes, you were not alive. But I think of your every Christmas when we sing, The 1st Noel". You would be just as big as Georgia, maybe even taller. Claire is so tall! She aches for you, her little sister, you know. And you mommy, oh goodness. She has such a heavy heart even tho it's got a huge hole in it. But their suffering here on earth are going to make your reunion in heaven so glorious one day! Just you wait and see, little one. Be a sweet angel and be sure to visit your Mom, Claire and us in the wind and on butterflies wings.

hi whatever your name is. i have a many questions for you. would you: charge me $200 for a cinnamon tic-tac? break into my room and bother me? sleep in my room and leave your clothes on the floor? put large quantities of my makeup on random places on your face? rub everything in my face? call my stuff yours? try to break my bones? petnap my stuffed animals? my sister does. i hope you wouldn't.
-your big sister, jane.

Hello my Lilltle Whitney,
The day that I lost you at 7 months pregnant was a day that I will never forget. I was so angry with God for a whole year, just wondering why he would do this to a 19 year old girl or anyone for that matter.Although you already know this, but I lost myself for an entire year to depression.I remember sitting on the sofa on your what would've been 1 year birthday and sobbing and still asking why.I remember saying,"Whitney I need you to give me a sign letting me know that you're ok.At that moment the sound bar on my TV began to go up and down. I thought that I was laying on the remote control, then suddenly realized that it was on the table on the other side of the room.At that moment I felt a sense of calm and peace and I culd hear your little voice saying I'm ok Mommy.From that day on I knew that I had to go on.I Iknew that you were ok and with God. I also know this even more so now because every year on your birthday something good happens in our lives.Like the day that your daddy had that horrible car wreck that police and paramedics said they still don't understand how he survived.I remeber him being out of work for so long and us dealing with the attorneys and going to court for alomost 2 years.We were in such financial distress at that time. But I remember on your birthday we recieved a call from out attorney telling us that we had a huge settlement check waiting for us in his office.I was so stressed at that time that I didn't even realize the date until I got to the offica and signed and dated the check then realized that it way your birthday.Your dad and me just looked at eachother and smiled.I knew that day that you were never meant to be on this earth. But that God saw this lost 19 year old girl and decided that she needed her own personal angel to guide her thru life. And that's exactly where you have been my dear.Everytime I look over my shoulder, I feel you there watching over me.I thank God everyday for thinking so much of me to appoint me my very own personal angel.And I thank you for being the Angel to step up and take the job.I don't know where I would be without you and thank God I'll never find out. I love you my Angel,

Your Mommy

Dearest Lisa: You were such a part of our lives and even after a year, we are still feeling empty, along with knowing you are at peace in heaven watching over all of us. I want you to know I am sending the poem "A Dog's Plea" framed with your picture to our hometown SPCA to keep others inspired to care better for their pets. I talk to you every day and will for the rest of my life and I expect yours will be the hand I reach for when it is my time to go. I love you. P.S. Did you have lunch with Audrey Hepburn, John Lennon, Elvis and Clark Gable yet? I bet it was grand. I am so grateful you are my sister.

I would ask my grandfather why he did some of the things he did and then tell him that I love him and we are all simply doing the best we can. That's all that anyone ever does. I would tell him that I know enough of him to be proud of the family that we were and that we are and not to worry about us. I'd tell him that Grandma still loves him and we wish that there was some way that we could've helped and saved him. He died of heart disease at the age of 74 and was a very disturbed man. The love I had as a 6 year old still lives on the same way it used to. I would tell him that I still remember sitting on his lap while he read the newspaper. I enjoyed the little jokes he would play on me when I was a little girl. I would thank him for getting me my first computer, a Commador 64 and for spoiling me just because I was the first grandchild that kept his marriage going for a little while longer. I'd tell him that his fatherly love would be the first and last I would ever know. I'd say, "I'm grateful for having known you."

Your last words to me were, "Don't cry."
I still don't know why you said that.

I'm sorry I wasn't a better daughter. Forgive me.

My sister and her husband and two young children were killed in a car crash on Labor Day weekend 2006. Madeline had the gift of making all who knew her feel as though they were her soul mate. She was truly my soul partner. The only way I was able to make it through from day to day, or sleepless night to next was to write to her. I have journaled to her almost everday for the past sixteen months. As time has passed I have found that I can write about her and not always to her. I will always miss her so deeply in my heart but writing to her has helped.

Dear Grandma,
Thank you for giving me my true self. Without you i might not have known who i wanted to be. I wish that you could have met Bryan, but i think that you would like him. i know that you would love my daughter (named after you-- carefully so as not to anger mom). And I know that you are proud every time you see me in the kitchen. i love to feed people--your fault! I do wish that next time you haunt me, you could help me make your scalloped potatos, because i just cant make them like you did. i miss you!
shan
p.s.
when are the cubs going to go all the way?

Janurary 1, 2008
It's a new year. It's 2008 and my sweet Krista you died almost 11 weeks ago. My birthday was ok. Christmas was ok. I love you Kirsta June. I miss you. I wonder what you are doing. I wish I could see. I'm glad you are free of that sick body that you lived in on this earth. You indured to the end. You are so valiant. I will try to honor you everyday.
I love you my, baby girl, girlfriend, KiKi, KiKi Munzer, sweetpea, KJR.
I love you forever and ever no matter what.
I love you for eternity.
Love MOM

Dear Baby Brother, dear Big Brother

You were not given the chance to be born, and the gap you left when you were taken from our mom, our dad and me was never closed. I miss you even though I never met you, I hurt every time I see the sadness in our mother's eyes. I have never been able to connect to other people and have always had to fight the impression of two empty spaces next to me. I wonder who you would have become, I wonder if we would have gotten along, wonder if our family would still be whole. Mom misses you even more than I do, for she felt you in her womb, bonded with you.
I made it, I was born, and when I am down again, I close my eyes and imagine the three of us together. The thought that I need to live for you and because of you, that I need to see the world and live as hard as I can so that your lives were not entirely lost, has made me stronger, has allowed me to live in a world I don't understand.
Dear Brothers, I know you're up there with Grand Pa, watching over us. I feel your presence and I know that the lucky strikes that have surprised me ever so often must be a sign from you.
I promise I will live and love, I will laugh and cry, for you, because of you and through you. And one fine day, when my part on this planet is finished, we will all gather up there and have one big party.
I love you,
your little sis

dear daddy,

it's been 7 days since you passed away. Not to mention how rough its been. no matter where i am day in day out im always thinking of you. cheyenna is living with me and mommy. we played the song you wanted us to play at your wake. i am listening to it right now. me and kaitie are planning on getting tattoos dedicated to you. i really miss you. i went to school today. i had a lot of trouble. but i'll be okay. i went to mrs. keller's office and she told me to think of something that made me happy when ever i feel like im gonna cry. so i thought of you and mom hugging and kissing in our kitchen. if you i wish i got the chance to tell you how much i love you before you left. if you were still here i'd imagine youd be calling me right now. like you always did. and i never minded how many times you called just as long as i got to talk to you. ilove you daddy<33

your daughter,
-emilie

dear daddy,

it's been 7 days since you passed away. Not to mention how rough its been. no matter where i am day in day out im always thinking of you. cheyenna is living with me and mommy. we played the song you wanted us to play at your wake. i am listening to it right now. me and kaitie are planning on getting tattoos dedicated to you. i really miss you.

Dear Mommy and Daddy.. I am so lost without you. If only I knew last year what was going on.. I could have reacted differently. I am so sorry I was so cross with you. I did not understand or would not let myself believe what I saw and heard. I know that was not the real you. I never in my heart thought we would end up like this. With the dr. predictions that Daddy would live to 100 (although I never really believed that..) but I dd think eventually your heart would wear out and you would leave Mommy and I... Gerth and aunt Jean and I were prepared to take care of her for you. We could have handled that... and then I would eventually lose her too.. but not like this. You were both so vibrant.. that is why I can't accept this. You were exactly eight months apart. I don't know how I get up every day and function. I don't think this has really hit me yet. I am trying to stay busy and focus on what has to be done.. and christmas. Don't think for a minute, a second every day I do not long for you. My heart is sick. People try to make me feel better.. and comfort me and say well you were lucky to have them as long as you did. That does not make it any easier mentally or emotionally to accept. It makes me wonder more. What if you Mommy had not fallen.. where would you be today.. why didn't we insist the dr. give you a urinary infection test... why didn't I know about this.. I am so sorry I let that stupid Somerset Hospital torture you like that.. they kept promising me it was to help you get better.. yes they told me you were very sick but I believed in my heart you wanted to stay with me.. and would beat the odds. Daddy, I thought the same thing... I thought your age would be on your side and the cancer would slow down. I never got a chance to pay you back on Thanksgivings or Christmases.. cooking dinners and having YOU over.. I really never got to show you... I am trying not to think about this.. because I will never get through it.. handling everything that has to be done.. if I think this has really happened.. I want you here so badly. I want to hear your voices again. Sometimes I just sit and be quiet and try to hear your voices. Remember the little voice.. sometimes I hear her. I hope you have found her.. and Eddie... and Pudgie and Elizabeth.. Heidi.. Emmy, Queenie, Lady.. Bonnie.. Ki.. Wendell.. Dutchess and Geraldine.. and Lucy... Aunt Jean misses you very much... she was very stoic.. but she tells me she misses you so much.. maybe that is why you did what you did.. because you could not stand to see us fall apart watching you fall apart.. i know how strong-willed you are. Please send me a sign... both of you... I miss and love you so much.....

Dear Little One,
We didn't get a chance to know you. You were gone too soon to be born. But the idea of you was very precious to us - we had never been "expecting" before. We know you are safe with Jesus where you are happy and whole, and we'll see you someday. We can't wait for you to meet your little sister and brother. They are too young to understand about you yet, but they will know you someday when they see you in heaven. Let Aunt Jenelle take good care of you. We're so glad you have the chance to get to know those who have gone before us. We love you and will see you someday.

Mommy

Dear Mom,

You passed away exactly two weeks before Thanksgiving 3 years ago. Thanksgiving was your favorite holiday and the only Western one that this family celebrated. I remember your giddiness during this time of the year--it was really your Christmas.

Mom, the day you passed on, a part of me forever changed and shut down. Time does it make it easier, but it doesn't heal the pain, and it certainly doesn't take away the gaping hole in my heart.

You were--and always will be--the love of my life. Peter, god bless him, knows this and instead of resenting it, celebrates you all the time. I am the luckiest person I know for having had such wonderful parents and life.

You showed me how to live, and in the last weeks of your life here, you showed me how to die--an equally important lesson--with acceptance and grace. In spite of what we are programmed to believe, death is not a surrender or a defeat. It is a passage of life that deserves as much attention as the birth of a new baby.

I know you are bustling around, getting things ready for this Thanksgiving with Dad, your families, and friends. Your day will be more festive than mine, I'm sure, just knowing how much you love this holiday and the type of person you are! I'm jealous.

One day, we'll all meet again. Until then, I have a life to lead and I hope to do so in a way that will make you and Dad proud--I don't want to feel your wrath when we meet again!

Every day, every moment, I feel the presence of you.

I love you.

Your Daughter Always,
Linda

I'd like to address Dream Girl's comments. Stick to your convictions because you will find him. I can say this because I was getting married for the first time at 45 because, like you, I wouldn't settle for anything less than MY HUSBAND. I always had a man in my life, but waited a long time for Mr. Right and I can say he will come. No one understood me either, but oh well, THEIR problem - not mine!! Hang in their girl, he will enter your life. In the meantime, stop stressing, focus on yourself and getting the most out of life and education so you are the best you can be when he DOES appear, it will be lovely.
-Judy

Well to start i'm not writting to a loss but to someone I hope I'll find someday !!
i've been living for like 16 yaers with like only hope : meeting the right guy for me , because of that I was always called names ( crazy , pathetic ,....) but what I was known the best for , was Ice Queen , not like a lot of you may think , because I'm not harch , neither am I mean ,it's just that i've scored the super number of saying NO to each " would you like to go out with me ?! " .
lot of my friends think that I'm abnormal to never fall in love with anybody , but on the other hand adults around me seem to be satisfied with my way of thinking , I'm so trapped in whirl .
what is more amazing is that no one want to understand that i've sworn not fall for anyone exept the one I'm gonna marry , MY HUSBAND , which is a little bit weird for a teenager to think so they say .
but the reason i wanted to write this , is to release this feeling that wares me a lot , I'm actually in love with someone that i've never met before , and who i start missing , and sometimes I just keep telling my self that he's thinking about me too , that maybe I'm his DREAM GIRL as he is my dream guy , so to this person who I don't realy know i want to say out loud : I LOVED YOU ? I LOVE YOU AND I WILL ABSOLUTLY LOVE YOU , TILL WE MEET PLEASE THINK OF ME "
i know you may not like what I wrote , because it doesn't fit with the main topic , still i tought it'll be the only way to set my passion and anger free
please excuse me !!!!!!

How is it?

Tata: You left a terrible void in my heart when you left us 4 years ago. Nonetheless, the happiness you brought into my life, the special moments we spent together and all the thigs you taught me are always with me. I find myself smiling even when I am doing household chores because you would always say: "What are you afraid that you will loose your rings if you wask the bath tub"? or even when I see children jumping ropes! You were so good at it and I had so much fun with you! Thank you for teaching me the art of being generous, kind and loving to others. I miss you every day. I love you.

I miss you every day and there is not a moment that goes by when I don't think of the fun we had playing cards. This would be to my great-grandmother. We used to have four generations sit around my grandmother's table playing 31. The other thin I would say is thank you for showing me to be respectful of my elders.

I would ask if the spiritual awareness that we embrassed while he was here, is it real? When he came to me in my dreams with that beautiful smile on his face, am I to relax and know that he's okay? Does he realize now if he didn't, that I did and do love him? I have so many questions.

"Grandma,
I was just getting to know you as an adult. You are the connection to Mom that I searched for, for years. When Mom and I are fighting, I know that you would have been the voice of reason...the voice of experience. I wish you could have met Tommy...he is so much a McCabe! I wish you'd have been here when Dierdre died...Mom seemed lost. Mostly I wish Mom and I would have discovered the "psychic fingernail" before you died...you would have thought it was HYSTERICAL! I love you, and miss you every day.