One of my favorite things to do is hide an "I love you" note in a spot where my boyfriend will find it during the day. In a closed flip phone, a wallet or a briefcase, these little notes are a little surprise that always brighten his day!

My honey and i love taking turns either playfully pouting with one another for some silly reason, or being the overly affectionate concerned lover, taking time out of our serious lives to indulge each other in a little of our own empathy and get some love and smooches out of it. I always walk away from it wanting more and so does he, thats the idea :)

Celebrate as if you are newly dating. Get dressed up for Valentines Day, have him ask you out on a date, buy something fun to surprise him in bed, give each other back massages, send a sweet card for him to recieve at his office...do anything you did when you were first dating all over again.

We've noticed over the years that remembering our past together brings us together and reminds us of all of the reasons we chose to be a team! We re-live those exciting days, when our relationship was just begining, but we also (sometimes more importantly!) remember the tough times...my cancer treatment, the loss of family members and friends, rigorous academic programs that strained our relationship. When we look back, it reminds us of how far we've come together and renews the respect and admiration that we have for one another and for our relationship. Remembering that he is my friend, my partner, my support system, also reminds me of why he is the love of my life.

Even when he leaves his nasty socks on the floor, gets toothpaste all over the sink, and forgets your birthday, try to make time to remind HIM how handsome/sweet/thoughtful he can be... even if he isn't being particularly handsome, sweet, or thoughtful, he'll get a boost from the compliment, and might act on it! Reminding my boyfriend just how handsome his face is often leads to him getting a hair cut and a shave so I can actually SEE his face!

Making a point to spend time together. Between work, our two girls, hobbies, and just vegging out with TV or the computer, we can easily get distracted from each other. Every once in a while, we'll say "Hi--where have you been?" with a laugh, and we know it's time to just hang out and talk.

Be polite! I think the secret of our 18-year, very happy relationship boils down to common courtesy. Smile, open the door for one another, listen like you've just met, don't run around in ratty clothes without brushing your teeth on weekend mornings, keep a little mystery with er...gas and bathroom time!

After 30 years of marriages, we realized major communication problems and sought counseling, which has helped us immensely.

It has taught us to focus more on what's working rather than nurse our hurts, resentments and bad moods. Our therapist insisted we take time to spend a weekend away from the mundane and usual on a monthly basis. Daily look for positive things our spouse does for us and let him know it.

As a couple, we visit new restaurants in our ever-expanding community as they are built and promoted.

We learn different languages together as we prepare to travel in foreign countries for business or personal trips. Most recently, we did family life trainings in Slovakia for our church and university where we teach. My husband went to Saudi Arabia on a business trip. We share humorous cartoons and emails on a regular basis.

I try to pack loving notes whenever he travels away from home, and prepare a Welcome Home decoration upon his arrival home.

We both work on decorating our home of 20 years.

We share excitement planning activities for when our adult children return home for a visit.

Recognize the problem and fix it with a date, laugh or both! Having 2 small kids that demand ALL of our attention we most always forget ourselves and our married relationship! We joke about how we never see each other or talk to one another, but deep down we know we love each other. We are aware that we don't spend enough quality time together but do make an effort to get out. As long as you can recognize , be aware of it, and don't let it go too far....a date and a laugh can do wonders!

Recognize the problem and fix it with a date, laugh or both! Having 2 small kids that demand ALL of our attention we most always forget ourselves and our married relationship! We joke about how we never see each other or talk to one another, but deep down we know we love each other. We are aware that we don't spend enough quality time together but do make an effort to get out. As long as you can recognize , be aware of it, and don't let it go too far....a date and a laugh can do wonders!

I use a five day rule. If we haven't had sex in at least five days, then I need to do some planning to make that happen. I light some candles and some insence. Fill two glasses with wine, put on some music and the mood is set. Once the mood is set in our room, it is also pretty much set in my mind. From that point on, things just happen and the connection we make is a much needed one to keep our marriage alive and well. My husband and I have been happily married now for 26 yrs. and five kids later we are still happily married.

Date, Date, Date! Regular dates all throughout our marriage even with little kids in our home have helped us escape the rut. My parents have been married for 36 years and have dated once a week all through the years, now each of their four daughters do the same in their marriages. It really works!

PUT HIM FIRST BY TREATING YOURSELF LIKE A QUEEN. MEN LIKE A WOMAN THAT KNOWS WHAT SHE WANTS. BE READY FOR EVERYTHING HE LIKES, INCLUDING SEX. GOOD FOOD, GOOD LOOKS(DO YOUR BEST, WE ARE ALWAYS PRETTY IN MANY WAYS). HE WILL NOT BE ABLE TO KEEP HIS HANDS OFF YOU.

Whenever life gets stressful, and our relationship atarts to suffer, we go on a date. Out for dinner, or a movie, or just to drink coffee and talk. It works wonders. We look for the fun things that we do together instead of focusing on the drudgery and stress.

Whenever we feel like our relationship is in a rut, Josh and I do something silly. Whether that means going to the zoo or playing a board game, that time together reminds us that it's never too late to be a kid again.

Date night! We plan it in advance & really look forward to it. There is a rule though, no talking about money, school, work, chores, family....just the 2 of us having fun & discovering ourselves again.

We drink! A couple glasses of wine and we can't keep our hands to ourselves.

We talk about it with honesty & tenderness. We treat each other like the most important person in our lives (read: make time for each other, show compassion, et cetera). We do new (fresh, fun, exciting, challenging) things together... its a real dopamine booster!

You have to set aside one night where it's just the two of you doing something relaxing. Having time to focus directly on each other and not be distracted can remind you of your attraction to one another.

Relationships are about the "we", not the "me", but often times I find that relationships are in a rut because of our expectations in the other person. That said, I try and focus on my own activities a bit more. This is easier when you are single, but when you have a husband and a family, this takes a bit more ingenuity. I would say that by trying some new things and doing it for yourself, not anyone else, this makes you more mysterious and of interest to a familiar partner. Get a new top that you wouldn't neceassarily have bought before, try a new recipie that is challenging, take a dance class as a new form of exercise, bake cupcakes just because... spice it up.
The other common ailment is bad communication. In this situation, I would say to talk often during the day, collaberate on something once and a while (like a dinner party or taking the kids to the park or on a walk), compromise is golden, and argue fair with the intention being to solve the problem, not to say hurtful things (and sometimes, it is helpful to say that right at the beginning of the arguement).
Last, but not least, kiss your partner. Not with the intention of having sex or for attention, but to say, "You know, I love you... you are great."