I'm 25 year old woman and I have 1 blocked right tube. My partner has had an sa it was great! We have been trying for 24mo naturally nothing. So I've been really stressed lateLy so talking 2 gf of mine who went through some of the infertility procedures has helped me a lot.now we go back to the re for clomid trigger shot and iui he says well try 3 rounds. Hope it works ! Its in gods hands

I'm 25 year old woman and I have 1 blocked right tube. My partner has had an sa it was great! We have been trying for 24mo naturally nothing. So I've been really stressed lateLy so talking 2 gf of mine who went through some of the infertility procedures has helped me a lot.now we go back to the re for clomid trigger shot and iui he says well try 3 rounds. Hope it works ! Its in gods hands

I'm 25 year old woman and I have 1 blocked right tube. My partner has had an sa it was great! We have been trying for 24mo naturally nothing. So I've been really stressed lateLy so talking 2 gf of mine who went through some of the infertility procedures has helped me a lot.now we go back to the re for clomid trigger shot and iui he says well try 3 rounds. Hope it works ! Its in gods hands

I'm 25 year old woman and I have 1 blocked right tube. My partner has had an sa it was great! We have been trying for 24mo naturally nothing. So I've been really stressed lateLy so talking 2 gf of mine who went through some of the infertility procedures has helped me a lot.now we go back to the re for clomid trigger shot and iui he says well try 3 rounds. Hope it works ! Its in gods hands

I'm 25 year old woman and I have 1 blocked right tube. My partner has had an sa it was great! We have been trying for 24mo naturally nothing. So I've been really stressed lateLy so talking 2 gf of mine who went through some of the infertility procedures has helped me a lot.now we go back to the re for clomid trigger shot and iui he says well try 3 rounds. Hope it works ! Its in gods hands

I'm 25 year old woman and I have 1 blocked right tube. My partner has had an sa it was great! We have been trying for 24mo naturally nothing. So I've been really stressed lateLy so talking 2 gf of mine who went through some of the infertility procedures has helped me a lot.now we go back to the re for clomid trigger shot and iui he says well try 3 rounds. Hope it works ! Its in gods hands

I'm 25 year old woman and I have 1 blocked right tube. My partner has had an sa it was great! We have been trying for 24mo naturally nothing. So I've been really stressed lateLy so talking 2 gf of mine who went through some of the infertility procedures has helped me a lot.now we go back to the re for clomid trigger shot and iui he says well try 3 rounds. Hope it works ! Its in gods hands

Acupucture points are real mystery for me! I hope to find something!
http://www.acupuncture-points.net/

I was very fertile in my 20's (I have two teenagers, ages 15 and 13). Instead of choosing the pill I opted for Depo Provera. I regret this decision every day. After using Depo Provera for less than 1 year my reproductive system got completely messed up.My cycle has never been the same. I also had an ectopic pregnancy that cost me my right tube. I was also diagnosed with PCOS and suffered the inability to conceive for 8 years. We used no form of birth control at all. To my great surprise I conceived my youngest child without trying. She is now 5. To my surprise again I conceived without trying only to lose the pregnancy in the 12th week. We had chromosomal testing and learned the baby was a boy and he had Down's Syndrome. We have actively tried conceiving for a year now. I have done 6 rounds of Clomid and Metformin as well as one IUI. I have had countless blood tests too. Everything comes back normal. I had an HSG yesterday that found a small blockage in my remaining tube so we are hopeful that was our problem. It is such an emotional roller coaster and it takes quite a toll. Depression comes and goes. The feeling of hopelessness can be overwhelming. I know how blessed I am to have 3 children but the void I feel after the loss of my son is tremendous. I feel for every woman who has suffered infertility and loss.

Thank you, Real Simple, for offering a glimpse into the world of trying to conceive.

We adopted, but I did seven rounds of IVF (I had great insurance). If you're still trying, decide on what YOU can handle, not your spouse, not your mother - you. Then once you get to that point stop.

If you're interested in adopting, a lot of states have fost-adopt infant programs (I wanted to adopt an infant, so that's where I focused my research). Make sure you understand what your agency is going to do for you - research.

A few things for the RS writers, especially those who wrote the adoption stories.

Adopted children ARE our "own children." One writer said, "[She] wanted to have her own children before adopting." Try - she wanted to have biological children before adopting.

Also, it would be great if you had tips for Fertile Myrtles - tell 'em how to talk to their infertile friends. One friend just kept telling me to "drink more wine" while another dropped my husband and me from invites once we weren't getting pregnant on their schedule.

Today I am lucky enough to have adopted a baby girl, who never would have been in my life if I'd conceived!

For two and a half years my husband and I have been trying to have a child. Our journey is typical we were excited at first believing we would be parents soon. Then after a year we became worried. My husband got checked out and was determined to be fine. I then got checked out, bloodtests, an HSG exam (a test to check for blocked tubes), and more blood tests. There was no reason we couldn't get pregnant.
We then went on to the fertility specialist. We were told we are young and would be good candidates for Clomid with Intrauterine Insemination (IUI). Three tries later they had all failed.
We are continuing on our journey and on to IVF. We know we will be parents someday and somehow but it has been a difficult road.

I enjoyed Real Simple's article on the alternative paths to parenthood. I hope they publish something on what to say to someone who is struggling with infertility.

I now have a almost 26 yr old son that came the hard way. I was found to be infertile in about 1980 and through a course of events found a good Dr. in Chicago at Loyola University Med center in Maywood IL. I was found to have blocked tubes. A Dr. Name Jabomoni operated on me for six hrs and did plastic surgery on my tubes and it was a success. I was at risk for tubular pregenacy, but that came clean. so I delievered by C section a healthy boy. It was a 50/50 chance of success and we were on the winining side. After three yrs. I tried to conceive again and the womb had closed up. I was a perfect canadiate for invitro but felt as though I had enough. I will tell you 6 1/2 yrs after my son's birth I was able to adopt an in family adoption, and have raised my two boys and I've always felt as they were both a miracle and I thank God for them always.

After reading the previous comments, I had to write about our experience. I married later in life and we waited to start our family. We easily got pregnant, but miscarried , and thought it would be easy to conceive again. Wrong! We tried many of the same options many others have already discussed, then finally attended an adoption seminar which presented many of the options available. We both decided to pursue a domestic special needs adoption through our state child welfare system. At that time, 12 years ago, in Oregon, there were over 300 children in foster care available and seeking permanent placement - adoption. After a series of classes, we were ready to have children placed in our home. We had always wanted a boy and a girl, so we communicated that to our worker. (We later joked about ordering what you want from "the catalog!") She had a boy 4, and girl 3, who had been abandoned in a car and had been in foster care for about a year. Mom was a meth addict and was in the process of having her parental rights terminated. We now have two wonderful teenagers, who are both honor students, active in our church and a delight to be around. Special needs adoption may not be the answer for everyone, but every child has the right to a secure, loving home. Our child welfare system/foster care is stretched so thin, many kids have just the essentials. Our kids ate peanut butter and jelly when the rest of the foster family had regular meals. They slept late our first Christmas because they had never had Christmas before! Although they had some challenges, we had lots of support through play therapy, Head Start and other support agencies, at no cost to us. Although they don't have our DNA, and we missed the diapers stage (many parents would skip that part!), we are a family in every sense of the term! We didn't pay big bucks to adopt overseas (we didn't have big bucks!), or to continue fertility treatments. Although every couple needs to do what works for them, I would encourage you to consider special needs adoption through your state agency. Many wonderful children are available, and the support we received through the process was great!

My story is a bit different than everyone else's. Physically, I might have some difficulties getting pregnant due to a myeomectomy (fibroid removal) two years ago, but other reasons prevent me from even attempting it.

I have anxiety disorder and chronic depression and am on medication for both. The medicines I take are not safe to take while pregnant and it would be equally unsafe for me to go off them for that length of time.

I am getting better at dealing with this. I have four "four-legged children" who are spoiled rotten and keep me sane. When I have my moments, I usually can get that need out by playing with my pets.

We haven't taken adoption off the table yet, but we're concentrating on enjoying our lives and each other for now. If there comes a time when that's something we can afford, we'll discuss it then.

I was so touched by the stories in the May issue that I felt compelled to write. I am very fortunate to have not had the experience of infertility, but I have treated many patients who have. I believe that my ease in becoming pregnant at 39 was due to years of Five Element Acupuncture. Additionally, I have seen many patients be assisted in conceiving with the use of acupuncture. I use acupuncture as a compliment to western medical procedures. I hope that more success stories are shared that include alternative medicine as a complement to the standard infertility track treatments.
Thanks.

I first started trying to get pregnant around the first part of 1996 and finally gave it up in 2003. Those years were the worst of my life. We tried just about everything. I wanted a baby more than my husband did, he was happy with just the two of us. But also he wanted me to be happy so he was willing to try whatever I needed us to do. After finding out that I have PCOD (Polycystic Ovarian Disorder) and years of trying and failing, I was knee-deep in a depression. With months of therapy and some Prozac I finally started to see that I was completely ignoring the life God gave me (mine) and obsessing about a life He didn't give me (a baby). Now I'm so much happier with my life and feel so blessed even though I do not have children. I finally feel that I live my life without children by my choice, not that I'm forced to be childless. Plus, my marriage is so much stronger than it was before. My husband and I have never been this close and I don’t think I could be any happier than I am at this point in my life. Sometimes society has a way of making women feel that they MUST be mothers, that their lives aren’t complete until they are and that’s just NOT true. I wish more women would see that.

My name is Matthew M. F. Miller, and I really want to be a dad. After more than a year of trying to conceive, my wife Constance and I are saddled with nothing more than a hastily purchased Pottery Barn nursery set and a plethora of negative pregnancy tests. I keep a blog, Maybe Baby, (http://maybebaby.ctwfeatures.com) that follows our journey through the world of infertility and attempted parenthood with a sense of humor and an ear toward sticking my finger into the eye of the gloriously bizarre world around me.

That's the only way I can stay sane throughout this time, especially since men don't tend to talk about this issue.

I was 17 when I found out I couldn't have children. I only had one ovary and I had polycystic ovarian syndrome. At that time it wasn't really a big deal the doctor had said there were some options and I was young. When I was 22 I met the man I knew I was going to marry. When he asked me to marry him, for the first time I didn't feel like a woman, I kept wondering if he would still want to marry me? I knew he deserved to know up front but I got a lot of advise not to tell him until after we were married. I couldn't start our life together with a lie so I told him. Yes we stil got married and tried everything we could to have a baby. Heart break after heart break nothing happened. I felt like a was a failure as a wife and then I started thinking what if in a few years he decided that he wanted children? He would just leave me for a real woman. I started to push him away.. he didn't go anywhere, we've been married for 17 years.

I couldn't hold a baby or look at a pregnant woman I would get so angry.. where was justice, children are being born everyday to people who just don't want them. Teenagers having babies before they were ready to become moms. We couldn't.

People would ask when we were going to become parents "'cause we would be so good". I was embarassed to tell people why we weren't parents yet. 12 years later I finally figured out what I was supposed to do. After literally talking about it for a couple of years we became foster parents. I quit my job and became a full time parent to children who sometimes didn't know what love was. We have been doing this for the past 4 years and with all the heart breaks and all the stress, I wouldn't change my life present or past for anything. I still yearn to feel a little person growing inside me, to know that instant bond when the child that was created out of love comes into the world.

We still plan to be parents and adopt, I know it isn't DNA that makes you a mommy and a daddy. It's the unconditional love that you can give a child. Seeing the face when they ask you to kill the monster in the closet or the smile when you walk through the door and only want a hug. That love is what makes you a mommy and a daddy.

After trying to get pregnant for over a year, a doctor friend of ours encouraged us to get checked out. We were unsure of how far we were willing to go with infertility testing at this point primarily because we were living overseas in Japan as my husband is in the US Navy. My husband went first and everything came back great. Then it was my turn. I went for the initial appt. at which the doctor took the time to explain what tests would be done and why. After the dye test came back normal, I was referred to a doctor in town. I was petrified of the language barrier--esp. with the medical terms. I confided in a good Japanese friend, Kayoko, and she went to all my appts. with me. The Japanese doctor spoke little English and his staff spoke none. But by taking Kayoko, I was able to understand most of what he was doing. Blood was drawn and I was examined for the first three months of appts. The doctor determined that I did not produce the hormone which allows a fertilized egg to attach to the uterine wall. I was given a shot to aid and told I had six hours to have sex--kinda takes the spotenaity out of it, but we did. Then I was to go back to the doctor three days later to start taking some pills and receive another shot. I had no idea what I was taking, but I did. And after two months of doing so, I was pregnant. We were so excited!!! Our first appt. was at 5 weeks with the Japanese doctor who allowed us to view his examination on a monitor. We could barely see the little dot that would become our son. At 7 weeks we had our last appt. with the Japanese doctor and could see the heartbeat. How incredible!!! I delivered a 3,306 gram little boy on June 16, 2006 at Higashijima Ladies Clinic in Sasebo, Japan. Even though the nurses didn't speak English, I quickly learned that "kawai" meant "cute". Today our son is a healthy, happy 11month old boy, Nathan. We were blessed to have all the bills paid for by our insurance. The only cost incurred to us was getting an American birth certificate and passport for our son.

Many women with infertility and recurrent miscarriages find help and answers with the new women’s health science called NaProTechnology. This health science teaches women to monitor their gynecologic and reproductive health by observing various biomarkers (or biological markers) that occur during their menstrual and fertility cycles. When these biomarkers are charted in a standardized way, they reflect the various hormone events of the menstrual and fertility cycles. Abnormalities in charting can be scientifically correlated to hormonal and even anatomic or functional abnormalities. Once NaProTechnology identifies the problems, its treatment protocols can be used to correct underlying conditions and restore fertility. NaProTechnology provides solutions to infertility, menstrual cramps, PMS, ovarian cysts, irregular or abnormal bleeding, polycystic ovarian disease, repetitive miscarriage, postpartum depression, premature birth, hormonal abnormalities, chronic discharges and other health problems. More is available on our web sites, www.naprotechnology.com and www.popepaulvi.com .

Thank you for printing this article in the time before Mother's Day. Every year, the Sunday is painful for the thousands of women who would adore to be recongized for being a mother, but haven't achieved that dream yet.
We have been TTC for about 4 years. I am a practicing pediatrician, and not only is it ironically painful that I have dedicated my life to taking care of other people's children, but I can related to the first story's subject with the stress that occurs when unpredictable doctor's appointments and procedures conflict with professional duties.
We finally had IVF #1 in September 2006. However, at week 13, we found that the fetus had multiple severe fetal malformations that would mean either likely death in utero, or an immediate and inevitable death outside of the womb if I progressed to delivery. We decided to terminate this precious, desired pregnancy, and I sunk down into darkness. I was successful with IVF #2 in March '07, and had wonderful feelings of good karma and great expectations. Unfortunately, I started bleeding at week 6, and progressed to a miscarraige.
Luckily, somehow, I am riding the waves and generally feel stable. Now I am back in the waiting game, waiting to get back on the terrible carousel ride of unpredictable doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, counting days, but now I fear that I won't be able to release myself to the joy of a positive result until I have passed well into the second trimester.
My heart goes out to all the families that are aching to grow. I will think of you on Mother's day.

Well getting healthy is our way of coping while waiting to try again. Also learn as much as you can about what you are going through, and then asking question along the way to show the Dr. that you are vested in what is going on with your body. After 2 years of trying to conconve we had success thorugh IVF/ICSI only to have a mixcarriage discovered at 8 wks. We had to do the ICSI due to unknown cause of male infertlity. We tried a FET (frozen embryo transfer) and failed to become pregnant. While looking at finances and dicovering that it may be another year before having the money to try again. We became pregnant naturally. Again only to find out about a mixcarriage at 8wks. After my reading of the first time. I asked about testing to find out why. I was tested for clotting and immune issues and result came back positive for a clotting issue, so they will try lovonex to prevent clotting in any future pregnancy, hoping that is the answer to the problem Thus, right now we think we can save money to try again with IVF later this year, keeping our fingers crossed. But for now while saving the money to try again we keep our fingers crossed, pray, whatever that we may have a natural pregnancy again.

I just have a little advice for young women or mothers of young women. If you have menstrual problems (irregular periods, painful etc.) please have your doctor check into these things even if you are long off from thinking about motherhood. I have been irregular since I started menstruating and never had anyone really check into-just prescribe birth control pills to stay regular. It wasn't until I turned 30 and had a miscarriage and found out I have polycystic ovarian syndrome that I really started thinking about my fertility. I know we can't always plan out our life plan but being aware of what is going on with your body now can pay off later!

Thank you for this article. I have been TTC for 12 years. In the past 3 years alone I have done 7 rounds of invitro using PGD, ICSI & an egg donor. We are well into six figures $$$ of our own money as insurance has covered almost nothing. I am heartbroken, have heard every suggestion on how to get pregnant (adopt, go on vacation, relax etc) and have finally given myself the peace I need to move on. My husband and I have gotten closer with each disappointment, I consider myself very lucky. I am moving on to a surrogate as I can't bear to leave my frozen embryos in storage. If that doesn't work then we will adopt. I am very grateful that there are other ways for us to become parents. This has been a long, rough road. I wish anyone else in my position a truly positive outlook and a great deal of optimism.