As the weather heats up, my reading gets light and right now I'm reading the latest book by memoirist and blogger Jen Lancaster, this one called Such a Pretty Fat: One Narcissist's Quest to Discover If Her Life Makes her Ass Look Big, OR, Why Pie is Not the Answer. (New American Library, 14$).

In this book Lancaster decides to try to shape up and lose weight—and not, as she repeatedly points out, because she hates her body or really has any true desire to be a size 8. Nope, Lancaster is just fine with her larger size. She's just fine with her whole life, in fact. She loves food, loves to eat, and loves the fact that she doesn't deny herself whatever she wants. But dire health warnings from her doctor as well as a desire to "stop sweating while I eat" changes her outlook, so she embarks on an exercise and diet regimen.

While that might not sound all that scintillating, I assure you: the difference between this and every other rather boring, navel-gazing, calorie-counting account of dieting is vast, most notably because Lancaster is a wickedly funny writer. Gimlet-eyed, misanthropic, obsessed with pop culture, dogs, her own vanity, and anything covered in gravy, Lancaster takes on the quest for health and fitness with a fresh perspective—one that you may identify with, or may not.

Consider, for example, her list of excuses for NOT going to the gym (some of which seem all-too-familiar, others of which are downright ridiculous).
1. Mercury is in retrograde. As is my ass.
2. My pedicure color clashes with my only clean workout outfit.
3. My inner child thinks walking on a treadmill is stupid and boring and only doo-doo heads do it.
4. My iPod needs to charge.
5. There's a marathon of I Love the 80s on VHI and I miss A-Ha so much
6. I have a tapeworm on backorder.
7. It's raining.
8. It's snowing.
9. It's sunny.
10. It's mild with a 42 percent chance of precipitation later in the day.
11. There's a full moon and I am suspicious that there are at least four guys at my gym who are werewolves. Okay, maybe just in need of a good back waxing, but better not to risk it.
...
AND THE LIST GOES ON...

So, I'm wondering what excuses you have used to skip a workout--or what ways have you devised to get around your own excuses??