Reader Katherine wrote to me and asked the following:

[My husband and I] are about to embark on a massive purge. Can you suggest some ground rules for the process so we don't end up filing for divorce?

Katherine, you are a very wise woman for wanting to avoid what has the potential to be a frustrating experience. I hope that I can be of assistance so that your uncluttering activities are filled with fun instead of agony!

As your first step, I suggest heading to your favorite bar or restaurant with your partner and bringing a small notebook and pen with you. If you consume alcohol, drink a beer, relax, and keep the mood light. Once the stresses of the day have drifted a little, formulate a game plan together. Discuss why you want to take on this uncluttering project. Set goals for what you want to accomplish, and decide how you want to achieve those goals. Establish some ground rules, and agree to keep your cool. The two of you will be partners in this expedition, so both of you should be active in this planning session.

After your night of planning, sleep on your decisions. In the morning, have a brief talk about your decisions and make tweaks as necessary. Then, get down to work.

I also suggest that each of you get a cardboard box to use as your "Maybe" box. If a disagreement arises about if an object should stay or go, simply put it into the "Maybe" box and delay a decision. You each will only get one of these boxes, so use them only when necessary. At the end of your uncluttering project, tape up the boxes and store them somewhere inconvenient in your home. Mark on your calendar six months from the last day of your uncluttering project, and forget about the box. At the end of the six months, anything still left in the box should go to charity, the recycling bin, or the trash. Your actions made the decision for you.

If tensions start to boil during your uncluttering project, stop what you're doing and take a walk together. Get out of the house for 15 minutes and then return to the house with a renewed energy and a clearer head. I promise, whatever it was that was bugging you before you left will no longer be such a large issue.

Finally, commit to being each other's cheerleaders. If one of you chooses to get rid of a piece of clutter that has been hanging around for years, applaud! Keep the experience fun and you won't have a reason to fight.

Good luck!! You'll be great.