Kate,

I am so desperate for your help!

This year, I have to host my very first Thanksgiving Dinner for 14 people just six weeks after I start my new job!!! I won't have any vacation days, so I can't start cooking until Wednesday night . I don't even know where to begin!!

Are there items I can cook ahead of time and freeze? What INEXPENSIVE decorations can I do that will last a few weeks? How can I seat 14 people comfortably in my dining room (which is big, but the table seats only 8)? How do I politely handle the sit down with Grandma vs. watch football delimna?

Oh Kate, pleeeeeeease help!!!

It gets really difficult to juggle 2 jobs and holiday festivities. I like to send out cards, so I compile my list by the end of September. I buy my cards at the end of the previous season, so they are on hand. I address a few each day in October while watching TV. Then in November, I spend about a week writing out my cards and signing them. I mail them around December 1st. Then, I am not under stress while working those long hours.

It gets really difficult to juggle 2 jobs and holiday festivities. I like to send out cards, so I compile my list by the end of September. I buy my cards at the end of the previous season, so they are on hand. I address a few each day in October while watching TV. Then in November, I spend about a week writing out my cards and signing them. I mail them around December 1st. Then, I am not under stress while working those long hours.

Several of the "cousins" have made arrangements to spend Christmas at home this year. They have preshcool age children and traveling long distances is quite a chore, not to mention expensive whether they fly or drive. I'm sure if will be different then gathering with the clan,but I'm sure it will be a memorable one with close friends near by, and they'll perhaps start new traditions of their own.

How do you determine the gift exchange plan for Christmas when you have extended family - yet a small group? There are only 3 grandchildren, 1 set of grandparents, 2 married couples, one sibling not married. For some reason, while giving to the grandchildren seems simplist, I worry about my one sibling who does not have a spouse. I feel I need to take care of her too. Why does this get so complicated?! Either way, once you give to one I feel like that person should reciprocate - such as the kids giving to grandparents, and to aunts and uncles and then it just multiplies and gets stressful every direction.

Deciding what to keep and what to throw is a big problem, the decorations, the "good boxes" etc. I know I'd be happier keeping less and less, but it's hard to part with gifts and things given in love. I especially get challenged by deciding what to do with tins that are plenty good to give filled with treats next year, and wrapping and shipping supplies.

Situating my holiday baked goods in the freezer as I bake for the month before Christmas is hit or miss. Some cookies come out without a crack or crumble while others, like cookie cut outs, get ruined by their crowded time in the freezer. I try my best to organize them for an optimum survival rate but I would love some advice! Thanks.

What do I get for my boyfriend? He doesn't say he wants anything and he already bought himself the Batman movie I wanted to buy him. Help!

Okay, Kate--How do I seat and serve twenty-five people for Christmas Eve dinner without becoming a frazzled, disgruntled mess. I love the idea of an elegant sit down dinner, but it seems like no matter how organized I am, that last half hour before the meal is served always becomes chaotic with guests (warmed up on cocktails) gathering and socializing in the kitchen while I am trying to put the final touches on the meal. How do I create a stress-free, casual environment, be the charming hostess, and still get dinner on the table without making myself crazy?!

Just got married, he has 3 girls and his ex lives with one of them. The girls want me to have their Mother over for everything, Thanksgiving, Xmas, Easter, My husbands birthday...on and on. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and my husband accepts this saying it doesn't bother him either way, but he would never ask me to do something I don't want to do. Where I still feel guilty is that we do not visit the Grandchildren as much because I refuse to go over to their house because "She is there". I don't want to share in their old life or go down memory lane. this is our life and our family now. What is proper when it comes to these things? I can't be the only woman going thru this.