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Observations
Are people who don’t complain just more boring?
Posted on Jan 12, 2009 1:46:21 PM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

Over the weekend I got together with my book group for a special session. We had planned a book group sleepover at the beach house of one of our members, but because of the snow we instead went to her house in town, lit a giant fire and spent the evening: --watching Valley of the Dolls --drinking wine --eating cheese --watching this hilarious Joe Cocker video on YouTube --looking at the photos of that naked skier Of course, there was much discussion. The major topics: --the naked skier: is that his kid on the lift with him? --parents who allow...

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Observations
Really, the only antidote to Halloween
Posted on Nov 3, 2008 2:39:00 PM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

I have written on this blog before about how much I hate Halloween. Now, with one more Halloween under my belt, I can say with confidence that I still hate it as much as I always have, if not a bit more. (Why more? Well, this year to add to the excitement I sliced my finger making chili and had to call my husband home from work because I thought I had to go to the emergency room. Whee!). One huge benefit of having a toddler is that you have an enforced curfew, which meant that on Halloween I was...

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Observations
Things you think will change your life that actually don’t
Posted on Oct 23, 2008 12:54:06 PM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

--a slow cooker --a new car --a long-dreaded conversation with a loved one --better running shoes --online shopping --cutting back on caffeine --a really expensive mattress --cleaning out the garage --a wash-and-go haircut --spell check

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Observations
A few items that are definitely not included in the Manual for Adulthood
Posted on Oct 7, 2008 8:23:37 AM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

--surly drugstore clerks --a sudden, mysterious hole in the roof --drain flies --out of control, opposing-team parents at a kid's soccer game --people who lie to your face at the office --mold on the basement wall --the desire to continue to produce children, even after age 40 --a dead skunk in the pool --a child whose very good friend is a bad influence --a cat who gets too old to use his litterbox --close friends who have completely different political views from your own --coworkers who think they need to cc you on every email --waking up at 3 a.m....

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Observations
Eight metaphors for the way you feel after a long, hard day at work
Posted on Sep 12, 2008 12:07:24 PM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

Pecked to death by ducks Head in a vise Tire tracks on your forehead Water level just below your nostrils Giant boulder in the middle of your chest Head feels like it might explode You are wearing a lead bodysuit No memory left on your hard drive

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Observations
Dispatches From Vacation, Episode 3: The New v. The Tried and True
Posted on Aug 28, 2008 2:58:39 PM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

When I turned 40 I decided that I was old enough to deserve a two-week summer vacation; it took me that long to figure out what many people already seemed to know, which is that it takes five and a half days away from work to even feel like you're on vacation, and then the next morning it's time to go home. Since I had a schedule that allowed me to pull it off, I've never looked back. This year we did something different and split our vacation in two. The first week we spent at a family camp that...

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Observations
Dispatches From Vacation
Posted on Aug 20, 2008 11:14:32 AM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

Episode one: rest stops really do come in handy and other eternal truths from 19 hours in the car with my little family When your husband says he just wants to go to the gym "for a little while" before you leave for vacation but that "it shouldn't be a problem" to leave by 9, it means you will leave at 11:15. Even the greatest kids' CD loses its charm after the fourth go-round. And just because your toddler inexplicably loves "Johnny Be Good" does not mean that he wants to hear it six times in a row. Children who...

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Observations
Things That Mysteriously Always Seem to Be Missing in My House
Posted on Aug 7, 2008 11:11:15 AM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

Tape measure Cordless phone Whatever book Eldest is reading Baby's sandals Elementary school phone directory iPod ear buds The pin for the pump that blows up soccer balls My hairbrush Tennis shorts Soccer cleats Any instruction manual, for any appliance, whenever it's actually needed Eldest's cell phone Food storage tops

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Observations
If I Ran the Olympics...or Things That Should Be Events but Aren't
Posted on Aug 5, 2008 3:59:02 PM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

As excited as I am about the upcoming Beijing games, there are several "sports" on the lineup that just confound me. With no disrespect to the athletes, who undoubtedly are tip-top competitors and all-around superstars, but: trampoline gymnastics? Slalom kayaking? Badminton? Herewith, "events" that definitely should be in the Olympics next time around: diapering a baby in the back of a car convincing a 13-year-old that he needs a shower making a nutritious breakfast in 3 minutes training a husband to put his shoes in the closet instead of the middle of the doorway making your father believe that you...

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Observations
A Few T-Shirt Slogans I'd Really Like to See
Posted on Jul 23, 2008 5:07:16 PM  |  By KristinVanOgtrop

I was walking through Rockefeller Center today and saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that was a genius takeoff of that now-classic “Got milk?” campaign. This particular t-shirt said, “Got wine?” Ha. Well put, sister. I laughed to myself, and then thought of all of the other “Got...” t-shirts I’d like to wear on any given day. Here, in no particular order: Got a self-cleaning husband? Got 15 minutes to fold my laundry? Got a non-shedding yellow lab? Got a self-renovating house? Got a sabbatical? Got a trip to Mexico? Got perfect skin? Got kids who will throw food wrappers...

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