Funny, funny! I JUST had this conversation with my six yr old today as a matter of fact. It's 40 degrees here in OK but it feels about 20 because of that wonderful blustery wind we are so famous for. After the little battle...which sounds like he might have the same sweatshirt that Eldest has...he says to me, "we probably won't even have outside recess, MOM!" That's when I just gave up...if he's cold, he's cold and I guess tomorrow he'll take a coat?? Probably not! What IS IT with the male species and not wearing coats?? WHATEVER!

I swear I'm the only girl on my campus who wears a winter coat or actual snow boots. I think this is because people go from buildings to their car & never actually go outside for more than 5 minutes. I live off campus so I don't care how stupid I look, I'm wearing long underwear under my pants & bundeling up. Between the 20 minute walk to campus & the fact the bus in town is always late, I spend enough time outside to risk looking like that kid in A Christmas Story. [I live in Ohio, the weather sucks].
But I see people wearing just a sweater or sweatshirt or a jacket meant for fall because it's more fashionable-I don't think they go outside much. I see this with little kids & adults too-if you don't have to deal with the weather, why dress weather appropriate? Honestly how often do people Walk anywhere?

Danielle, speaking as an elementary teacher, please don't ask the school to punish your child for home discipline (no recess, extra math). Especially the extra math--it's not a logical or natural consequence and may turn him off even more to a subject he needs the rest of his life.....

I read all these comments and I'm thinking I'm the meanest mom in the world. I only fight the battle to zip the darn things! My teenagers "forget"....really? It's 22 degrees outside...you didn't notice the cold air on your front? They even forget to zip the little ones coats when I ask them to help get their jackets on. Grrrrrrrr. As we live in the Northeast...I'll continue to fight this battle till I'm blue in the face - but it won't be from the cold...see I wear a jacket AND a scarf and gloves!

I think at 13 they are starting to flex their independence. A coat is not as much of a major issue as a lot of other things at that time. I kept insisting they wear a coat to let them know I cared about them. Some days they would wear one and some days they wouldn't. We all survived and they are very loving, caring. responsible, independent young men now in their 20's and chalk it up to "it's a mom thing" So my advice is to keep insisting, let them know you care about them.

not to be crazy or anything, but imagine the savings! i usually remind my teenager to put on the coat. if he doesn't...and grows out of it...it's a deferred spend on our part until he realizes he's freezing.

now, my issue is a hideous coat he got from a friend that is infinitely cooler, but is also infinitely smaller. i've tried hiding it and "losing" it. just like cockroaches, it always comes back. it will survive the apocalypse. not his handsome, sensible coat. it still has the tags still on it.

Tell him wear it or carry it.
He needs to bring it to be safe - that is, if for some reason he is stuck out in the cold far beyond the time he expected. Wearing it is completely optional.
That's what I do with my kids. I have 4 of them. I don't need more battles.

Who woulda thought my "frustration query" (typing in a point of frustration in the google search bar) would have been so exhaustively covered? I guess this is an ageless fight that I thought I was dealing with in isolation. Love the internet.

I have decided to give up the fight. My son won't even wear a hoodie. It's 39 degrees outside. But he wore shorts and a t-shirt (with a shirt underneath) to school this morning. I found myself telling him...JUST WEAR THE SWEATSHIRT. And I heard how ridiculous it was for me to have to tell a 15-year old person to wear warm clothes on a cold day.

If he doesn't want to wear a hoodie, WHY am I so adamant? I know why...two things.
#1: because I said so. No parent should be disobeyed or disregarded -- no matter how dumb the child thinks you are. Why is this even a discussion?

#2: I know the boy is just trying to be cool at the expense of good sense and that drives me nuts.

But alas, I have to walk away from the edge. Just walk away! Let him be cold.

....just walk away.
...walk away.

For the life of me, I cannot get my son to wear underwear. He is 9, and he has a cousin who is 11 and won't wear it either. Maybe it's hereditary!!!!

As the Mom of a 13-year-old, I can say without hesitation that this is one you gotta let go. Remember, You as the Mom are not cool enough to know that winter coats are out, freezing until it hurts is in and one day this will all be laughable as we reminisce. Suffice it to say that there will be bigger and better battles before that day... at least that's what I've been told. My rule of thumb is safety first. If not wearing a coat does not cause a health problem, I breathe deeply, exhale slowly and let her learn from her own mistakes. I don't agree with not wearing a coat in the dead of winter, but I realize that my daughter is an individual struggling to sort things out on her own. This is a small step towards independence and maybe, just maybe, she'll look back one day and realize that Uncool Mom was right. This time.

I gave up the coat fight with my 14-year-old daughter last year. She might wear a jacket or hoodie if it's below 50 degrees, but that's as far as we get.... She tends to be warm even when I'm freezing, so I figure she knows whether she needs a coat. And when I thought about it, I didn't remember ever being cold as a teenager - not until I went off to college and had to walk two miles to class in the ice and snow. I do make her take one with us if we'll be out when the sun (and temperature) goes down, just in case she changes her mind.

Oh Kristin! How funny! I just fought this battle with my 16-year-old last weekend. We were going to see Christmas lights at a local park, and he insisted on just wearing a hoodie sweatshirt with no gloves. Same arguments you listed (the hood is good enough if I'm REALLY cold, and I can put my hands in the pockets, so no need for gloves). I also made the HUGE mistake of suggesting a scarf (apparently this would absolutely scar him for life!). I've given up on this one. Truth is, cold really won't make them sick, just uncomfortable. So I just tell him that if hypothermia sets in, he'll need to take care of seeking medical treatment!

I would say whether to drop it depends on the activity being done. At age 15, delivering papers in 20F weather, I wore a hoodie AND a down jacket. Close to freezing, I swapped for a lighter jacket over my hoodie, on 35-50 degree mornings, I just wore the hoodie, and over 50 just a t shirt. That's what worked for me. At age 21 (now), I commute by bike into uni (which is even more vigorous exercise), and so skip the coat becauseI am already in a hoodie find a hoodie and gloves, combined with a hat under my helmet is enough to be comfortable at 30 and sweat quite a bit at 45. Explorers in Antarctica wore only a long sleeve thermal base layer, fleece and cagoule at -20. I also like my shorts, but refuse to wear them if it is less than 45 in the morning when I pedal in. I do at least have a hoodie in the bag every day in case sitting still in the air con gets to me. I also a thin waterproof coat if I'm expecting heavy rain, or if I'm out for a long time. Yesterday, I went for a bike ride in the low 40's in sweatpants, a polo shirt and gloves. I would probably suggest a cutoff such as 30F. As for coats, down coats aren't very flattering (no offence). Try layering, e.g. fleece and waterproof jacket over the top (you can get some quite cool lightweight outdoorsy jackets). If your teen is standing still at bus stops, a sweater under the fleece may also help. Fleece+shell is a well recognised way of keeping warm to exercise in extreme temperatures, coming from someone on the commitee of a University walking club.