There's something about things being tidy that gives me a sense of calm and control.

When the house isn't tidy--I have a hard time concentrating!

Of course HE'S the neat one picking up after me.

and my husband watches premier league soccer too! I thought we were the only ones this side of the pond...

I am thinking about hokey this sounds even as I type it but, here goes:

My husband is a fireman who leaves a trail of stuff EVERYWHERE! I find that I tend to get huffy when I look at the stuff all over the floor, counters, tables, etc. Then I stop for a minute and think what my life would be like without him (and his mountains of stuff) in it. Sure he leaves his tools out but he was using them to fix things around the house. His sneakers are still by the front door because he just came in from mowing the lawn or walking the dogs. It's certainly a trade off (cleaning up after someone vs. totally pile-free house), but it's totally worth it! I just try not to let HIM know :)

I'm in the same situation with my boyfriend and I am a clean freak. Clutter just really, really bothers me. Generally I'm in the "it's easier to just pick it up so I can stop thinking about it" camp, but every one in awhile I get in a huff about it. I have no solutions, but I have had the internal talk about whether I'd really prefer a spotless house and a lonely life, or putting up with a little mess and having someone to have fun with around all the time. I once dated a guy who said he was a clean freak, and man was I excited, but it was a vicious, vicious lie.

This may be a shock, but I am the messy one in my house! I like to use actual cleaning products to clean dirty things, which my husband rarely does, but I am horrible about clutter. We have had numerous heated " discussions" about this and are working on compromising. In defense of messy husbands, they are probably just not bothered by the clutter. I have explained to my husband that I truly do not notice the clutter. I just don't take it in the way he does. I am working on seeing things through his eyes and he is working on not being so obsessive about it!

Like Jes, I am the messy one in my house. I have trouble acting immediately on paper or things coming in the door. Then it piles up and totally overwhelms me. While not into cleaning, my husband is very organized. He's also a little overbearing at times about this. Right now we are just agreeing to disagree. I am starting to realize with two kids I need to get some systems in place and take some of the stress out of my day. I have a very neat, organized friend who has offered to help. I just might take her up on it. As for Kristin's question...... I think you only need to pick up what is driving you crazy or is in the way. Otherwise, let him take care of it.

I'm the messy one in my house, and I can only guess that it drives my husnad competely nuts! I leave stuff everywhere, all the time. See, the thing is it doesn't bother me so it's like I don;t even see it. I need to have people over at least once a month so I do a big pick up all at once. I know it would be better and easier if I just put things away immediately after using them, but it's just not part of my nature. I was born a slob, and then every once in a while I get a huge urge to organize and clean.

I say do wha cha gotta do to make life easy on yourself! If that means picking up after him...so the piles don't drive you in sane...then that's what I'd do. Sometimes, I will just let this one particular area in our house just pile up until "I can't take NO MO!" I get very quiet ...and sometimes "withhold" some lovely pleasures...before I know it, that pile is so clean I can't stand it! (Of course, I kid...a little :) about the "withholding"!) I don't have too much to complain about with him, really. So, if I must pick up a little, I must. Gosh, reading some of these posts, I shouldn't even complain about his ONE little area that piles up :o Happy weekend to everyone...now, let's go pick up some piles!

Oh yea...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL!

As a medical Resident I work hellish weeks with 24 hour calls, late nights, early early mornings. My husband is a full-time student and works a pretty physical part-time job. Back in college I used to be pretty good at keeping my apartment clean, but now between the two of us and our ridiculous scheduales, its impossible. We are both so tired. One of my attendings gave me terrific advice. She told me the mess will always come back and be there. At the same time, if its there, its not going anywhere. So if my husband and I have the evening together, the last thing we should do is clean! Working in healthcare puts it in perspective for me- we need to enjoy each other while we can. Now I spend otherwise "wasted moments" tidying (like washing a couple dishes while the morning coffee brews) and always when my husband isn't home.

I have this problem with my roommate and is fustrating because shes almost 30 and its probably time she stops living and acting like a slob. She leaves her hair coating and clogging the sink, dishes in the living room and refuses to take out her trash, even if she trips over it to get out of the front door. I struggle with leaving the mess until she does it which is months or never, as roommates, who pay equal rent to live and cohabit a very small NYC apartment, her behavior is inconsiderate and childish. (im not asking her to scrub the tiles cinderella-style, just wipe the counters once and a while) No matter how many times i ask her nicely to pitch in, nothing ever changes. I realize I have the option to move out and have no legal connection to her other than our lease, but at this point i love her like a sister and love hanging out with her, i just wish she would respect herself and our home enough to clean up after herself.

From the sound of everyone's comments, it doesn't sound like this issue gets better with a different "partner" and that if you're the type of person who needs things cleaned up and put away, you will probably always be that person in that role.

Well, my daughter is just now capable of picking up after herself-she just doesn't want to all the time...my husband? He won't pick up anything unless I specifically point it out and ask him to pick it up. I remember once when he built something out of parts he ordered from eBay...as each part came in, he'd rip open the packaging, let it fall to the floor, and went off to add the part to his creation. I once left some packaging on the floor to see if he'd notice it and pick it up....it sat for three whole weeks. Laundry? The word "hamper" does not exist for him-all clothes end up on the floor. Blech!

I've been having a huff. My husband is the epitome of them all w/ this terrible sickness. I've asked nicely, I've had fits, I've let it pile up until everything he owned was there & he had nothing, I've piled it on top of his keyboard & computer chair so he'd hopefully do something (oh he did, he made a new pile). Seems like none of this works. I'm on a total shopping bing for myself for some relief. It helps! But I like Eric@unclutter's idea of creating a new convienient space where he leaves his stuff & I think it just may work. It will be a wonderful father's day gift for him! :o) Oh how his mommy raved on about him being so wonderfully clean & neat; 14yrs & I beg to differ.

I know exactly what you are talking about! My perfect husband of a year is a person who leaves piles of things everywhere. I have even had my step son trained to pick his stuff up and put it in the room. Does it annoy me, YES- I have a 4 month old baby, plus the house to keep clean. His stuff is everywhere, if I dont pick it up...it usually stays! I do love him, but he is a mess. Funny thing is- when the garage is messy, he knows how I feel. He cleans it all the time just to have his son drop stuff everywhere! Welcome to my world honey!!!

I just pick them up and when it annoys me..as it sometimes does..I try to think of all the things he DOES do that I wouldnt want to such as take out the garbage. I try not to take him for granted, if anything ever happened to him, Id beg to be able to pick up those shoes one more time..so why wait , just do it and be glad he is with you.