Too many of us can commiserate about the picky eaters. My mother still reminds her 4 children of the clean plate club requirement we grew up with. If it was not finished at the table you finished in the basement, rarely. We all of naturally give our children choices. My almost 14 year old eats the typical kid proteins but not mac & cheese. He will eat practically any fruit and some veggies. He is almost 5' 7' and weighs 108 lbs. So the issue is getting calories into him. I looked at his plate last night with two hot dogs, uncured no nitrites, and a load of fruit, carrots and celery and another bowl of fruit on the side. I did a quick calorie add up and understood why he eats all day long. 4-6 bananas, 4 yogurts, pretzels etc. On Friday night he ate an entire challah, bread, after dinner. I have resorted to Carnation Instant breakfast mixed with milk as a snack and with a meal! It's nice to have a child who is active and certainly not overweight but think of how much he will be eating at 16!

Fortunately my kids are only mildly picky. In our house it is "polite bites" of something they do not like. When they were younger it was equivalent to their age. Now it is just 5 bites and move on. This also helps if they go to friends' houses for dinner and it is something they do not like. "Polite bites" are part of good manners. Plus, if they have it enough times they just might grow to like it or at least tolerate a whole meal of it.

I wish my son were a picky eater. He has severe food allergies and will eat anything, and everything anyone will give him, sometimes to his detriment. My daughter is also a good eater, but we refused to give her special meals if she didn't like what was offered. If she left it on her plate she saw it again at snacktime and then a third time at dinner. She soon got the point. Now she will try anything. After she's tried it if she really doesn't like it, she doesn't have to eat it all. It just took a while to get to this point with her, also we never argued, pleaded, or coerced her to try something. We put it on her plate and never discussed it beyond "Eat or do not, the next scheduled meal or snack is at (name time)" With my son, It is a little different. He is allergic to peanuts, tree nuts, eggs, wheat, soy, corn and legumes, I feed him a diverse sampling of things that he isn't allergic to and hope for the best.

As the mom of three grown children, I'd say we worry too much about opur children being picky. So what? They are picky. I have a 20 year old daughter, in her second year of college, who is a picky eater, and always has been. But she appreciates the food she does eat, doesn't OVER eat, and is a healthy weight. As adults, WE don't eat everything that is put in front of us...there are things we don't eat because we just don't like them. Why can't kids have the same ability to make that determination? My philosophy has always been to make the meal with a variety of options for them. Offer them the things they don't like, but don't force them to eat it. Sooner or later - like my daughter with red peppers - they will figure out they like some of those things and eat them.

My nine year old son (middle child) fits right in with the rest of the posts...he is stubborn and PICKY with a capital P and several exclamation points. He does not eat any pasta. He only likes the Uncle Ben's flavored rice (which my local store has stopped carrying except for the ready rice which is unacceptable because of texture.) His sources of protein include: milk, chicken and shrimp and of course peanut butter. (Then he wonders why we're having chicken...AGAIN!)He also will not eat potatoes except for certain restaurant's french fries. (None at home.) He will only eat pb and J and ice cream sandwiches. Vegetables are a dirty word to him. I also am not a short order cook, the rule is that you have to take a "no thank you bite" and that dinner is dinner breakfast is only 12 short hours away. Our variation is "you get what you get, and you don't pitch a fit." Unfortunately, he is a master at throwing a fit with fireworks and flair.

I think a 9-year old who is willing to try oysters, and downs shrimp and kumquats, is a prime candidate for the chef's tasting table already. Don't be too stressed that pork loin isn't a favorite (it's not that great for you anyway). And how does he already know that strawberries just ain't what they used to be!

Fruit roll ups and Honeynut cheeries in milk, along with some low salt beef jerky make a pretty well-rounded nutritious meal actually.
Bon apetite Middle child! You'll probably end up healtheir than most of us adults who devour everything on the buffet table!

I think a 9-year old who is willing to try oysters, and downs shrimp and kumquats, is a prime candidate for the chef's tasting table already. Don't be too stressed that pork loin isn't a favorite (it's not that great for you anyway). And how does he already know that strawberries just ain't what they used to be!

Fruit roll ups and Honeynut cheeries in milk, along with some low salt beef jerky make a pretty well-rounded nutritious meal actually.
Bon apetite Middle child! You'll probably end up healtheir than most of us adults who devour everything on the buffet table!

I have a hard time believing that so many kids are getting away with this! My rule has always been, you have 2 choices for meals - take it, or leave it. No making something different, no cooking multiple meals. My kids have always had things they liked and disliked, but they ate what I served. I agree with the person that said affluence had a lot to do with it. I never could afford to have picky eaters - they were grateful that there was food on their plates!

My TOTALLY unscientific mother-of-two young boys opinion: He either eats what you cook (whatever is infront of him) or he doesn't eat!! He'll get hungry enough to try your meals! My children have to eat what I cook. They don't have to enjoy it or always finish everything on their plate but they DO have to eat it. They can gripe, but they DO sit at the table until they take a few bites. Maybe this is the middle childs way of "being seen/getting attention".
Good luck!

My boys are SOOOOOOOOO picky! Both boys will not eat hamburgers, but will grudgingly eat hamburger mixed in with other things. The oldest (9) only recently started eating french fries. He will only eat boxed mashed potatoes, not real ones. He will only eat chicken nuggets from one restaurant. The youngest (6) will not eat corn. I literally watched him gag on it once. Neither one will eat veggies. I have to force them to eat green beans. If I only served mac and cheese and pizza, they would be so very happy! I am lucky they do not like pop. The youngest would drink milk (esp. chocolate) all day long. They both will drink lots of water too.

I'm a big fan of a couple of things:

* What I put on the table is what is on the menu.
* If you don't like what is on the menu, you can have a bowl of cereal, AFTER everyone is done and the dishes are put away.
*You stay for the duration of the meal so we can enjoy your company as well as eat with you.
* Once the meal is over, the kitchen is closed until the next meal. If you want a snack, have some fruit from the bowl, but no one is making anything for anyone.

All of this is based on Ellyn Satter's [godsend of a] book: Child of Mine. www.ellynsatter.com

I'm flexible: if my kids ask for a certain meal, we'll have it. I also serve meals that include at least one food that will be consumed by all. But I am also firm: if one of them protests a meal, I remind them they've "eaten X in the past and lived" or "this is X with a different kind of sauce." We also have a leftover night at least once a week.

And yes, this rule applies to kids who come to our house as well. I belong to a babysitter coop, and everyone knows that if their kid is at my house, I will not be making a bunch of different meals. If folks want to send a snack or a meal, that is fine, but I'm not a chef to my own family, nor will I be to theirs.

I know it sounds like I am a drill sargeant, but my kids are actually really good eaters, and even the pickiest eater has managed to come to my home and leave with a full belly.

My now 12 year old has been keeping me guessing for years:

he like fish sticks but not fish
he likes chicken parmigiana but not chicken
he likes waffles but not pancakes, even if use the same batter!
he likes apple juice, but not apples
he likes corn ON the cob, but not off
he likes canned beans (ugh), but not beans
-the list never ends

All of these likes and dislikes change daily.

I need to change the name of everything I place in front of him because he may just not like what it is called. I usually ask him what he wants for dinner and then tell him that is what we are having, regardless of when the actual meal is. I give his siblings the 'hush hush' sign when we are eating so they don't spill the beans.

He has gotten better, but if he does not like the look of the container, the way the top came off the yogurt, the brand name of the milk...he wont eat it.

There is never a battle, it is not worth the stress. He just eats around what he does not like, or finds a container of something in the fridge that appeals to him. If cereal is good enough for breakfast, why not dinner? The child is not going to starve.

Did I mention non of these food aversions exist outside of my kitchen?

I understand the frustration of being a mother of a picky eater... but it is even more frustrating to be a "picky eater." My parents made me try everything as a kid and eat what was on my plate or sit at the table all night long until I did. And surprise! I still hate those same things I hated as a kid. Try as I may to eat a salad, a few bites is about all I can handle before I feel ill. I wish I liked all those beautifully colored foods, and I hate being labeled a "picky eater." I guess I was born with mutant taste buds.

I think too many parents are push-overs when it comes to their children. Who runs your house? You or your children? I understand stubborness, pickiness, food allergies and all that stuff (because I'm a mom) but at some point a parent needs to be much more firm w/ their child. If they walk all over you, who else are they walking all over??? Your child cannot always be accomodated w/ whatever they want~~that is just a fact of life. Why not gently teach them that at home so when a real life lesson is presented to them at school/friends house/etc..., they'll know how to handle it. They are not being prepared for real life~~they are being taught to be selfish and demanding. Read Jaycee's post, I think she has the right idea.

It sounds like everyone is doing the best they can in their own personal situation. Although, some seem to be doing it from their high horse.

I've found (on occasion) that the best way to get my 2-year old to eat something is to not give it to him. One night I made lobster bisque. Figuring that there's no way he's going to want it, I only gave myself and my husband some. The baby then says "want some." So we gave him a bowl and he at the whole thing. Same thing with salads. Unfortunately, we haven't reached any kind of reasoning yet at 2, so there is no "just one bite." I have, on occasion, fixed him something different because I know he won't eat something, but more often, if he doesn't eat, he doesn't eat. Although I may end up giving him yogurt afterward. It makes my husband crazy when the baby doesn't eat, but he's clearly not wasting away.

My five year old son is so picky when it comes to food that he says no to everything I offer him to eat, but then is always complaining that he is hungry or starving to death. I never know what he will eat. Mornings seem to be the worst when we have to get out the door for school.
He won't eat cereal so there's a challenge. When he does ask for a specific food and I fix it for him he won't eat.
I've gone as far as letting him fix his own food for breakfast, and his lunch and he still won't eat. What ever is a Mom to do? Mealtimes are so challenging in our house, it's beyond frustrating.
Like Louse Son's my would rather starve than eat. It is glad to know I'm not alone and my kid is somewhat normal when it comes to finicky eating.

My 5 year old will eat only peanut butter sandwiches (no jelly and no crust), chicken nuggets (of course!), strawberries, manderian orange slices, cinnamon toast, goldfish , pretzels, sometimes bacon and a few cereals. That is IT!!! It drives me crazy! I have tried the starve method in order to get her to eat something new, and it totally doesn't work! What can a Mom do to make her child try new things?! I think she survives on air most of the time! That GOD for gummy vitamins!

High horse doesn't always mean wrong horse~~sometimes the truth isn't pleasant!! Some of the mom's may need to hear the truth from an unbiased person.

not only is my son a frighteningly picky eater, but he has sensory integration "issues," and can't have glutein. This would be enough. Add the stubborn factor, just for fun, but we're not finished yet. You see, we are vegetarians, so you cut out just about every easy source of protein right there (picky eaters tend to NOT love tofu, seiten, most beans, etc), and, did I mention... we are also kosher?
Thankfully, I love to cook and explore new combinations in my kitchen. Also, I'm extraordinarily thankful that my daughter (who spent the first 4 1/2 years of her life with a feeding tube!!!) is a flexible girl and will now try just about anything! I can do amazing things with silken tofu (he usually doesn't know he's getting it), and, um, some occasional, gulp, bribery.
One thing I'd like to share from my daughter's former and amazing feeding therapist: remember the T's of food: Temperature, Texture, Taste and Touch. For picky eaters, or those with any other feeding "issues" these may play a role. In the meantime, bon appetite.

My 5 yr old daughter has ALWAYS been picky. Even when she was a toddler in a high chair we would feed her baby food from jars, she preferred the sweet stuff. We would try to put some veggies on a spoon and then dip the spoon in something sweet. If she got a little taste or if she figured out what was up, she refused to eat any more.

She is still terribly picky. She will only eat hot dogs and pancakes. Sometimes she'll eat chicken nuggets. It probably wouldn't drive me so crazy except that she was in the 20th percentile for height. Of course I married a veggie-freak. He tells me that she's short because I don't make her eat vegetables.

As the mother of 10 children, I've had some experience in both directions. The first child ate everything, no problem. The second child ate everything but cooked carrots. The third ate everything, the fourth started getting a little picky-no potatoes, bananas, or egg yolks. The fifth had a texture issue and woudn't eat anything gooey ie. bananas, hot cereals, etc. . . sixth and seventh weren't too bad, but eight, ninth and tenth are ridiculously picky. I really don't think I've done anything different from the first ones. Eight ate everything until she had to touch it with her fingers, then she refused all but crisp, dry things. At 12 she cannot be made to eat anything she doesn't like. If forced, she simply says she's not hungry and won't eat at all. A neighbor once asked her if she get's hungry. She said, "oh, I'm used to it, I just ignore it." If she gets up the courage to eat something new on her own, she usually likes it, but if I so much as mention it, she refuses to eat it. It makes it a very delicate issue. Nine likes only a few foods from each group, but will occasionaly try new foods. He has low-blood sugar and if I try the you-eat-what-is-being-served-or-starve method he loses his appetite and becomes so unreasonable you can't do anything with him. With low blood sugar he doesn't want to eat and doesn't care if he doesn't eat. Ten eats only the following: white bread, macaroni products-plain, orange creme yoplait yogurt, melted cheese, land-o-frost deli shaved chicken, grape juice, apple juice, and popcorn chicken. Having experienced both types of children I don't think parents deserve all the credit or blame. Children come with a personality. Some are naturally picky and some are not.

This so reminds me of my nephew, Jason, who wasn't exactly picky, but very discerning; food had to "feel right" in his mouth, or he wouldn't eat it. He'd eat grapes but not strawberries (because strawberries were "rough" on his tongue.) He wouldn't eat Cheetos. But when he was picky ... he was PICKY! He was quite young (in a booster seat) the first time he and his brother came and spent the night. I knew he "LOVED" macaroni and cheese ... so I made a batch of homemade. I put it in front of him and he was dumbfounded ... "What is this? It is not macaroni and cheese ... macaroni and cheese is orange and has straight noodles!" I can't remember whether he ate it or not. But his pickyness hit an all time high the next morning. I had gone and bought this special "bread press" that allowed me to press an outline of Mickey Mouse in the bread and when toasted the face really popped out. I was so pleased with myself and thought I would really impress him. He took one bite of that toast and refused to eat it ... "IT DIDN'T TASTE LIKE HIS MOTHER'S! I didn't use the same kind of margarine! Needless to say, Jason went home earlier then planned that day (and probably ate his favorite lunch ... "boney" n' cheese on soft white bread.)

Now if you want to talk about picky ... You gotta be talking about my brother Cliff; who ate nothing but mashed potatoes (and only after he had built pretty elaborate roads and highways in them), naked spaghetti noodles (yep, he picked the onions out of spaghetti sauce if you dare serve the pasta with sauce) and peanut butter! (And I'm not talking about a little kid here ... this is all he ate through high school!) He weighs within 5 pounds of his high school weight (and he graduated nearly 40 years ago.) Get this though ... he marries a woman who flips the cookbook open, puts her finger on a recipe and that's what they have for dinner! He eats guacamole now (and spaghetti sauce)!!! We are all shocked speechless!

My son, who became a picky eater when he was in kindergarten (that's when he started to really ask the names of foods), will eat muscles but refuses to eat cherry tomatoes when they're mixed with other veggies and meat or raw (with salad), will eat mac and cheese and cheese strings but won't eat hamburgers with cheese, will eat pickles alone but refuses to eat pickles in hamburgers. Sometimes I try explaining to him that they're basically the same, but sometimes I'm afraid that he'll think I'm telling him to not like all cheeses.