I wish I could say it gets better but my husband (34) was and still is picky and stubborn. My favorite story is how he tried to flush a whole carrot down the toilet rather than eat it - causing as you might guess quite a mess for their dinner guests to discover. I can only manage to get him to grudgingly eat 4 baby carrots even now. His mother instructed babysitters to check his cheeks before putting him to bed as he had (and, sigh, still has) a chipmunk instinct to store, not swallow.

My grocery shopping is sadly limited and predictable. He, too, would rather starve than eat some of my favorite dishes.

My youngest will eat raw cauliflower but hardly any other vegetables. Both will eat grapefruit with no sugar but then turn down yummy sweet mangoes or kiwis! Of course, both kids will eat sour patch candies (ugh!) but not even try an olive. We have one or two choices in each food group so we somehow get by and they miraculously grow. Our latest is the V-8 Strawberry Juice which counts as a veggie serving. By the way, our first pediatrician, whom I adored, told me once that it takes 31 days to starve so not to worry when they don't eat! I usually cave and fix the mac and cheese.

My kiddoes are pretty picky also. I have to say, I was a picky eater as a child too. Despised veggies! Now, I love them, would prefer them over meat! Weird. All this to say, I think we stress out waay too much about our kids' eating habits. I just make sure I introduce things but don't MAKE them eat it. They have to at least try it...if they don't like it, I just keep making them try it and then one day...when they are 30 they'll magically like veggies! Well, that is my hope anyway?? If that doesn't work, well, then, God help their wives!

First, I am a firm believer of one meal at dinner time. If you cook pork loin, son doesn’t have to eat it – he can eat the vegetables, or after the family is finished eating together he can pour himself a bowl of cereal. Do I want any kid to starve? Of course not. But sometimes in life, you need to appreciate the meal you are fortunate enough to have in front of you. And you would never want to prepare your child to dine at someone else’s home and turn down what they have cooked.

However, having said all this, I have lots of friends with children afflicted with food allergies, and a few nieces with SEVERE food allergies. I caution all parents, if your child is extremely particular about not trying foods and complaining about taste (and I really mean EXTREMELY, not just normal child dinner angst) I would take them to an allergist. Often with food allergies, the first taste will not trigger an huge reaction, maybe just a small rash that you might not notice, or would attribute to something else. But the second attack could be very severe. Strawberries and chicken/egg allergies are very common, surprisingly enough.

And in addition, if you have your child tested for food allergies – please do all of them at once. Because if your child is allergic to one food, I guarantee there are more – please insist that your doctor do a full exam (doctors make a lot more money that you and I – insist that your child get the best care always!).

I hate to start the morning off trying to scare people, but I could frighten you with some food allergy stories that I have heard!
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With Mother's Day at the end of the week, I already put my order in for pizza on Sunday from MY favorite place. Many pizzas, just don't cut it in our house - too much cheese, not enough cheese, chunks in the sauce, spicy sauce, too thin crust, too thick crust. The youngest and pickiest of my 3 children asked sadly, "what will I eat?" Cheerios, of course! She has eaten them for Thanksgiving, for Christmas, and pretty much any other occasion or meal that she didn't like. Thank goodness for Cheerios! She is almost 12 and has the longest legs! She is growing up fine! Happy Mother's Day!

Chris, Cheerios is a good idea. In my house I make one dinner, our motto is, "You get what you get and you don't get upset," (if only that worked), and if all else fails, the two older boys can make themselves a pb&j if they absolutely hate what I've made, but only after they've tried it. And occasionally, JUST OCCASIONALLY, I can get Middle to change his mind about a food. For months we had taped to our fridge a note one of them wrote after changing his mind about a food: "Actually, I like risotto."

My middle nephew is this way. My sister tried to break him of it and he went two days with NOTHING. My sister caved because she was afraid he would starve before he would eat a pork chop. He eats hamburgers with cheese, not cheeseburgers. There is a difference. He also eats pumpkin pie, garlic toast and some hamburger helpers. At major holidays, my sister fixes him an entire pumpkin pie and he eats just that. My nephew is really skinny but doc says he's healthy. My sister realized it doesn't matter what he eats because you can crush up multi-vitamins, stick them in a pumpkin pie and he will never know.

Kristin, LOVED the motto. I never used the "don't get upset part". It's a nice touch. I will try to remember to add that one to my "get what you get". I agree, one dinner is all I will make. Eat around it or pour a bowl of cereal. Loved the risotto note. My youngest once wrote a contract agreeing to finish her homework early so that we could do something fun together. We both signed it. She was only 6 at the time and her signature was just a spiderly scrawl. Love finding those things and remembering! Happy Mother's Day!

Oh, I've so been there, done that with the mac & cheese, where I swore that if I made one more pot of it I'd have a psychotic episode. Eventually, my daughter did move on to other things, but the only veggies she'll eat are baby carrots, broccoli and the occasional grape tomato. Likes French fries but not potatoes (go figure). The motto in our house as well is 'You get what you get and you don't get upset.' My DH was a very picky eater and his mother gave in to it (mine wouldn't have! We ate what she served and that was that.), but at least he supports my saying that you DO have to try the food, whatever it is.

We've used a similar saying ... ours is "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit."

I'm a picky eater, too, I guess since I am a vegetarian and the rest of the family is not. So I end up eating differently from them -- not hugely, but I have pasta without meat, or veggie burgers, or spinach lasagne etc.

My girls are somewhat picky as well. Isn't it funny though how almost all kids like mac and cheese? And, they prefer the orange stuff from a box -- my hubby made yummy homemade mac and cheese with 5 kinds of cheese .. they hated it!

My 10-year-old daughter must be the only kid in America who will NOT eat boxed macaroni and cheese. She will not eat tomato sauce either, except on pizza, yet the ONLY condiment she'll eat is ketchup. Her motto, seriously, is "cheese rules!" But only sharp cheddar cheese. Over time, through sheer persistance, I have managed to add asparagus, broccoli, green beans, peas, corn, berries, pork, beef, shrimp, grilled chicken, turkey and other foods to her chicken nugget and french fries diet. And of course, she's perfectly willing to eat all sorts of foods at other people's houses. But if I try to offer those foods at home? NO WAY, MOM! She still gags on the one bite of spinach I make her eat periodically, but who knows? I too loathed spinach as a child and now love it. Mostly, I just say, "try one bite." Heck, I still don't like lima beans!

My 2 older sons like to raise the level of hilarity by insisting on different faves. Of course I fall for it and end up making a peanut butter and jelly for #2 in addition to the perfectly delicious turkey sandwich #1 eats. Just for fun I'll shout out "What do y'alll want for breakfast?" just hear the simultaneous answers, "cereal" and "eggs." The one thing they can both agree on is seafood, which is ruinously expensive to feed a family. When #1 asked "What does lobster taste like?" I responded, "Horrible."

Love your post and motto! I grew up with five siblings; my mom's motto was "If you don't like what's served, eat what you brought along." Also, quite effective.

I hear you on this one.
My 3 year old daughter has no problem with roasted red peppers, fourme d'ambere blue cheese, capers or edamame.
but try giving her a mini meatball, chicken nugget or some sweet potato...not a chance.
drives me crazy.

That's funny, we have the same motto! Only our's is: You get what you get and you don't throw a fit! (Maybe because we are "Okies"...our "get" sounds like "git"...so it rhymes with fit better :)

Thanks, Ms. Superiority, for your comment. My EXTREMELY picky eater has recently had two episodes of extreme hives. I have no idea what the cause was. Good advice. Thanks.

Staci - that git and fit rhyme is too funny...my sister-in-law's motto is "Don't yuk someone else's yum." We learned that at dinner at her house so the kids wouldn't comment about whatever was being served. And they all try one bite.

My 7 year old son is not only extremely picky, but he has a hair trigger gag reflex: if he is required to try a food he so much as thinks he dislikes, he WILL throw up. All over the table. Still, I keep plugging along, hoping it will get better, but for now our dinnertime motto is: "If you throw it up, you clean it up" Delightful!

I still have a hard time with the whole picky eater thing. Granted, one of my kids is harder to please than the other, but neither has ever acted the way so many of the kids here described do. I sometimes think it was because my kids grew up fairly poor, but the family meal was always a fun family time. And even when we didn't have much, we emphasized how much more we had than others. When you think about it, picky eating has to be a product of affluence. I sincerely doubt that kids scraping to get by in 3rd world countries would even consider refusing their vegetables. Eating is a part of our behavior in the world, and a responsibility in terms of the choices we make. My less "picky" child is now a vegetarian, for ethical reasons. To me, that makes sense. But "I don't like it"? That seems to me, in the big picture, to be too selfish an attitude to let a child grow up with.

It's so interesting to read everone's kids love mac & cheese. My picky eater doesn't even like that. My mother had asked me to try to break this, but it's so hard and no dinner makes the morning even harder. She will eat instant mashed potaotes but not real mashed potates, will eat apples but not applesauce. The best part of this, her little sister has a milk allegry. Meal time sucks at our house.

I've been a lifelong picky eater, and when my nephew was around 3 or 4 years old, I slowly realized that my diet likely hasn't changed since I was that age. I'm still stuck on pancakes, mac 'n cheese, and fruit gushers.

I've been a lifelong picky eater, and when my nephew was around 3 or 4 years old, I slowly realized that my diet likely hasn't changed since I was that age. I'm still stuck on pancakes, mac 'n cheese, and fruit gushers.

I'm reading everyone's comments and wondering, "how many of us were allowed to eat the way we let our kids eat". When I was growing up, we always ate what was in front of us. I can remember wishing I could send my pork chops to the hungry kids in India or China or wherever my mom was telling me that I was lucky I didn't live. I still hate pork chops. So maybe we do this because our parents didn't. Jaycee's comment hit home too.

I had one of those! He's now 15 and eats kale, tofu, vegetables, fruits, meats, spicy foods, pretty much everything. The key was that I never fought with him about his fussiness, nor did I give in. We ate what we ate; he could either join us or eat organic peanut butter and jelly on whole wheat and a piece of fruit, period, no alternatives and no negotiation. He ate a lot of peanut butter, but eventually, when he was ready, branched out. I kept processed foods out of our kitchen to prevent my kids from developing a taste for them, but didn't sweat it when they ate that stuff at friends' houses and when they asked why, I simply replied, "That's not how we eat." If they pressed the issue, I gave them brief, clear lectures about food chemicals and sugars and how they affect our bodies. I now have three healthy, active teenagers with good eating habits and good attitudes about food.