Do This One Thing for a Better Relationship With Your Daughter-in-Law

June 25, 2014 | By | Comments (5)

Cue the champagne: Your son or daughter has found the one! That said, after the wedding dust has settled, you might find that you and your new daughter-in-law are living less than happily-ever-after.

Of course, every MIL and DIL duo is different, and the tension between each pair will vary for any number of reasons. Still, the most frequent complaint probably won’t surprise you: According to an anonymous online poll conducted by Real Simple, daughters-in-law are most likely to grumble about their mother-in-law’s passive-aggressive comments. (Now is a good time to remember this lesson from a certain cartoon bunny: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”)

Are you an offender of this mother-in-law faux-pas? If so, use these tips to help you break the habit.

COMMENTS

  1. Chris Grant

    Not very helpful at all! Vague generic advice.

    June 25, 2014 at 8:11 pm
  2. Anne Donaldson

    My advice is stay out of their business completely! My son and his wife just celebrated their 20th anniversary. My husband and I will celebrate our 50th soon. Longevity in marriage is an art form. My basic reasoning is that I am Libra, the balancing scales!!

    July 1, 2014 at 9:27 pm
  3. Jean O’Donnell

    As my perspective; the DILs of today possess little to no respect…EXAMPLE; when my MIL came to visit for 2 months every winter, I would never think of disrespecting her in any way shape or form…this whole passive aggressive stuff is over-used and frankly a good majority of the kids today lack one simple ingredient; RESPECT!

    July 21, 2014 at 12:04 pm
  4. Patricia Beaton

    I thought it was helpful with regards to knowing it rated highest in a DIL poll. I have a PA MIL and don’t care for it at all but will call her out on it in a respectful way. I also agree with both Anne and Jean – Staying out of our kids business unless we are specifically asked for our advice is a good rule of thumb. We all do things differently and as long as the end result is the same or what they want well then to each their own. I certainly see a lack of proper respect in young adults these days….however if we continue to treat our kids/DIL’s with respect and show that we do the same with our MIL’s I think by example they will see when associating with us it is expected and will be given. At this time I only have one DIL and she is wonderful. We have 4 daughters and right now 3 SIL’s (whether married or not considered so)- they are wonderful too and as long as they treat our daughters with respect they will always be. We actually are a blended family with 6 kids (his, mine and all ours) The greatest compliment is that they all at one time or another and some more than once have said to us that they want a relationship like ours. We respect each other and have been blissfully married over 21 years. We both have PA ex’s so definitely dealt with and abhor PA behavior….so to do so to another would be hypocritical. I actually giggled at the last part of the article with the quote from Bambi because I have said that to our children since they were little and still reference it. Now they think it/say it as adults in their family life. Babbling away…..end.

    August 7, 2014 at 3:14 pm
  5. Allie

    I agree with the comment about staying out of the business unless you are invited into it. When people are constantly chiming in with advice they don’t want, it becomes annoying and that tends to escalate things. It’s a married couple, they live their life, you live yours. As for the DILs of today being to blame, we now live in a society where we can vote and if a man hits us, he will go to jail. We don’t have to deal with anyone disrespecting us in any way, including a MIL. It sounds like your problem is the seen and not heard mentality that a lot of older people have when it comes to people they don’t like. Just because I am from a certain generation does not mean I am disrespectful and for you to generalize that way, tells me you are.

    September 3, 2014 at 6:23 pm

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