What do you do when your child says she hates you?

August 14, 2012 | By | Comments (6)

Our 7-year-old daughter has a way with words. Specifically, when she is angry or upset, she likes to leave us “love notes.”

Variations on these notes include:

  • I wish I was never born.
  • I hate my brother.
  • I have been grounded forever. Leave me alone.
  • I wish I was part of another family.

Our 10-year-old son has been known to throw a similar comment at me in the heat of the moment. My all time favorites, and the ones that are clearly designed to cut to the core are, “I hate you” and “you are the worst mother in the world.”

While my first inclination is to either a) cry or b) throw a similarly cutting comment back at them, I try to remain calm and address the comment or underlying issue later, when everyone has calmed down.

Then I collect the loves notes and keep them in a folder. Because some day I may use them to write a book.

What do you do when your child says something hurtful?