Mysteries of the Body, Part 3886

July 30, 2012 | By | Comments (1)

A few physical quandaries and questions I currently find terribly vexing:

1. Why is it that, after a huge meal at night, you often wake up starving in the morning? I can go to bed groaning in pain and wake up ready for a pile of pancakes. Is it a stomach ‘stretching’ thing or a blood sugar thing?

2. Why do mosquitoes choose to torment certain people and leave others unscathed? I have read stuff about certain people simply being more appealing to the impressively picky buggers, but I don’t buy it. I think there’s some sort of cosmic chaos and retribution going on. I must have harmed many insects in my former life as a spider.

3. Why do some people’s feet get chafed and blistered more easily than others? Case in point: no matter how many times I have worn certain shoes, no matter how supposedly comfortable and cushy they are, I will almost certainly get a blister upon wearing them for the first time in a few weeks, or after walking in them for more than, oh… two minutes. We are talking everything from the most innocuous (flip flops) to only slightly more involved (ballet flats). Clearly, my feet are as delicate as a flower, despite my best attempts to toughen them up!

4. Who decided that a totally nifty Olympic event would be to encourage small humans to perform feats of gymnastics while on a four-inch-wide, solid wooden beam which is suspended several feet off the ground? Related: the entire event that is the pummel horse.

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