Introducing The Hot New Weight Loss Trend: The Toddler Diet!

July 13, 2012 | By | Comments (8)

A few years ago the Internet was abuzz with rumors that Jennifer Aniston—she of the perpetually tan, toned, age-proof body—was keeping that figure by periodically doing a “Baby food diet.” As in: she ate only baby food.

I’m not even going to explore how wacky that is, or try to ascertain if there’s any truth to it. I will admit, however, that some of those suddenly ubiquitous pureed food pouches (a.k.a what we call “squeeze-y food” in our house) are downright tasty! Ain’t nothing wrong with a puree of plum, fresh apple and mango! Drizzle it on frozen yogurt for a yummy treat.)

Anyways, that’s all besides the point. I got to thinking about all of this a few days ago, when I was bemoaning my daughter Mia’s dietary foibles to another mom. I was saying how amazing it is how little she eats sometimes. It’s a constant woe of many a toddler mom (Mia will be 3 in late Sept), or the mom of any picky eater, of any age. In truth, I’m just never even sure if she’s eating what’s appropriate but once I talk to other moms and read books on it, I realized that she’s perfectly normal and is doing okay.

And then it hit me. Maybe my best bet at losing those remaining, stubborn, you-are-NOT-as-young-as-you-were pounds may just be in such a hunt-and-peck, nibbling diet? What if I just matched her, bite for bite? The Toddler Diet is born!*

Here’s what my daughter ate the other day.

+ three strawberries
+ one half of a mini-waffle with a dab of butter, a squeeze of agave, and a smear of peanut butter
+ one half of a hard-boiled egg

+ one half a string cheese (I still can’t find the other half; pray for my stroller.)
+ orange juice diluted with water

+ five french fries with ketchup
+ three small bites of grilled cheese (Swiss cheese, whole wheat, butter)
+ two pickles
+ one bite of coleslaw (mostly spit out)
+ 1/2 cup blueberries

+ 1/2 cup milk**
+ one slice of Swiss cheese
+ a few goldfish crackers

+ three bites of pasta (fusilli, marinara, broccoli florets, and extra lean ground meat)
+ two baby carrots
+ 1/2 piece of toast (whole wheat with peanut butter and apricot jam) (I hate making a “second meal” when she turns her nose up at the first, but on this day, I made the toast–mostly to tide myself over for a dinner later on—and she cadged some.)

+ four mini Oreo cookies
+ 1/3—1/2 cup milk

There you have it. Goodness knows how many calories are in there or how balanced it is… Some days it’s LESS and some days it’s more. Some days it’s devoid of certain food groups. Most days I am frustrated—and feel like I am wasting food that she doesn’t eat. (And that’s one of MANY reasons for the extra pounds–I finish her food! It’s such a classic “mom” move that it’s pathetic!)

Regardless, there’s no deprivation in this diet— only the tastiest yummiest stuff, across a range of food groups. But she really only eats the smallest portions, obviously.

Maybe one day I’ll try to mirror her eating for a day, a week…for a longer period of time. Word of my success will get out, and then the regime will become the new hot thing; Hollywood beauties will seek out my plan for their post-baby slim-downs and before sexy movie roles. I’ll make it into a franchise like some of the inexplicably popular juice cleanses. I’ll fit into my skinny jeans and a nation of women will become toddler diet acolytes.

The name of this movement? Something catchy to register for a trademark and slap on tote bags and water bottles?

Perhaps “Eat Like Mia?” Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think??

What do you think? When it comes to eating, do the littlest nibblers have it all right?

*Note: I am 100% kidding about ever following this eating “plan” as a way to lose weight. And I am 100% serious that those squeeze pouches of pureed fruits are pretty delicious.

**Note: Yeah, I agree that she is not drinking enough milk, at least for a kid her age. It’s a constant struggle. Like her mama before her, she doesn’t like milk!