Stay Out of My Love Life, Mom

June 21, 2012 | By | Comments (0)

Today’s question comes from a reader named Anne, who wrote: “My mom is always offering relationship advice, which I appreciate, but since her two marriages failed, her advice can often be pessimistic or insulting to my fiance.”

Anne wondered, “How do I tell her to gently back off without insulting her?”

This is tricky, Anne, because your mother has your best interests at heart. She doesn’t want you to experience the same heartbreak she has. But apparently the only way she knows to try to prevent that is to warn you and your fiancé repeatedly about the pitfalls of love.

Unfortunately, her approach is not constructive. Over time, it will only alienate both you and your fiance and may push you two into making rash decisions just to rebel against her nagging. At the very least, if this continues there will be some awkward tension at the wedding. To avoid this situation, maybe you could say, lightly, “Mom, I adore you and I’ll take your advice on cooking, on finances, on career, on fashion, any day of the week. But we all have to find our own way in love.”

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