This week’s etiquette question came from HeatherMLee, who must decline an invitation to her niece’s wedding because it is too far for her to travel. She asked: “What is the appropriate thing to do, gift wise, if you cannot attend?”
You should send a gift, HeatherMLee, to anyone who invites you to her wedding. Look at the situation this way: sending a gift – with a lovely, personal note enclosed – never offended anyone. In this case, a gift does double duty. It says, “Congratulations on your happiness, and thanks for including me. I wish I could be there to share the day with you.”
As for the gift itself, what you buy and how much you spend will depend on your relationship with your niece. Are you close to her? If so, you may have a good idea of something special that would please her. If not, choose an item from her registry; she will appreciate that you made the effort to send her something she wants.
What gift did you send the last time you couldn’t attend a wedding?
(image via RealSimple.com)
R U JOKING ME??? This is the same nonsensical wisdom that no doubt supports tip jars on counter tops where I stand in line to order, receive and pay for my meals.
I send a gift if I cannot attend, but I usually spend less than I would if I’d attended in person. At the risk of sounding cheap or harsh, if the couple isn’t having to pay for me to eat and drink at their wedding, then I think I an justified to spend less on their gift. Of course there are exceptions where I have spent as much as I would have if I had attended, and I admit to not sending a gift in cases where I thought it was odd that I was invited in the first place!