Call Me ‘Mrs. Rockefeller’ (My Husband Does)

January 30, 2012 | By | Comments (18)

My husband is a reasonable man. After all, he generally can be counted on to agree with me when it comes to the big issues in life.

For instance, we both believe that babies should be able to sleep through the night by the time they weigh 12 pounds; that Labrador retriever puppies are the most irresistible creatures on earth, and that kitchen cabinets should be painted white. (True, I feel more strongly about that last one than my husband. But he is very supportive of my position.)

We are soul mates. After two decades of marriage, you really know a man. Or so you think, until one day you get into a cab together and …

It was a cold Saturday afternoon in Manhattan. We were headed uptown, to our apartment. As we slid into the backseat, my husband nudged me and pointed to something on the floor: a crumpled $10 bill. As I picked it up, I realized there was also a $5 bill. Probably the last passenger had been wearing gloves, fumbled with the money and unwittingly dropped it.

“Excuse me,” I said to the driver, handing him the cash. “Someone left $15 behind.”

The driver looked shocked – and so did my husband.

“Thank you for being so honest,” the driver said.

“Are you crazy?” my husband said (not with words, of course, but with his eyes, which also are capable of saying, “Not now, I’m busy watching football;” “You call this dinner?” if someone serves him a vegetarian entrée, and “I want to go home now” when we are at parties).

“Are you crazy?” my husband repeated (with words this time) after we got home. “That was strictly a ‘finders keepers’ situation.”

“It wasn’t my money,” I said.

“Well, it wasn’t the driver’s money, either,” my husband said.

“What if you had found the $15 on the street?” my husband continued, warming up to his theme. “Would you (A) hand it to the next person who walked past? (B) Go to the nearest bank and turn it in? Or (C) Pick it up and put it in your pocket like a normal person?”

I protested: “But I didn’t find the money on the street. I found it inside someone’s cab – which is like finding money on the floor of someone’s home. If you pocket that money, you’re stealing.”

My husband sighed, which I took to mean he agreed with me; it was, after all, the same noise he makes whenever I describe the relative merits of different colored kitchen cabinets.

But later he tweeted: “Wife found $15 on seat of cab today… and gave it to driver. #shootmenow

One friend tweeted back: “That reminds me: you owe me $15!” My husband replied: “Get it from my wife. She’s standing on the corner handing out bills to strangers. #mrs.rockefeller”

So, who’s right? Would you have kept the $15? What did you do the last time you found money?

(image via