As an expectant parent (my husband and I are adopting), I’ve grown increasingly annoyed by the never-ending stream of advice I keep getting about baby products. “You have to get the Exersaucer!” “You have to get a glider, not a rocking chair, for your nursery!” “You have to get the video baby monitor!” “You have to get the baby wipes warmer!” “You have to get a [insert product that didn't exist until five years ago]!”
Every time someone tells me I have to get something, I’m immediately skeptical and don’t add that item to my shopping list. As a result, my list of things I plan to buy after being notified that we’ve been chosen as parents is steadily getting smaller and smaller:
- Diapers
- Place for kid to sleep
- Bottles
- Formula
- Car seat
- Sling or carrier
- Wash-and-wear clothing
I ask myself, “Did my mom have this when she brought me home?” If the answer is “no,” it goes off my list of things to buy.
My husband and I are of the mindset that we won’t know what our baby prefers until we have a baby. Filling our home with baby clutter isn’t good for our space, and it’s financially wasteful if our child doesn’t want or need a specific item.
If you have children, was there an object that everyone told you that you had to own that was nothing but clutter in your house? Or, on the flip side, was there something you didn’t think you would need but ended up finding that you couldn’t live without? Tell us about your experiences fighting baby clutter in the comments.
My first baby is due in three weeks and I’ve struggled to keep the baby clutter to a minimum through my entire pregnancy. I think we did pretty well, but we were fortunate enough to have friends who are done having children and had TONS of stuff to hand down to us – for free! So I wound up taking things that I wouldn’t have purchased on my own (a swing, for instance) just because I was afraid that the baby *would* wind up wanting one and by then it would have been given to someone else.
Still, other than the swing and a rather expensive stroller (a gift from a family member), I think we really don’t have anything too extraordinarily unnecessary, but I can already see that keeping the clutter to a minimum is going to be a constant struggle!
I am pregnant with my second child and here are a few things we did not need with child number one: a diaper wipe warmer, a thermometer for the bath water, a bouncy seat (however, I hear, some kids love these), and anything to heat bottles (your baby will easily take room temperature formula and that makes life a lot easier on everyone). There are a lot more things that could go on this list but I just can’t remember all of the baby clutter items!
I had to have the diaper genie for my first go-round. Then I went to visit a friend who was on her 4th baby. (All under 4.) She spared no expense on decorating but her logic was only touch it once. So every dirty diaper went into a doggie clean up bag and carried to the garage. It truly was so efficient. You aren’t wrestling the ugly plastic machine in the baby’s room. No smells. We gave away the diaper genie and followed my friend’s lead for our daughter no. 2. We also avoided the high chair for baby 2. She sat in her bouncer for a few months and moved to a portable table chair when she sat on her own. She has also turned out to be the neater of both girls. Perhaps sitting with us encouraged better table manners?
I am a mom of a 5 month old baby, so far I have been only buying things as she grows I see her activities and buy things that might help her improve ability to do things.
the only things I bought before she came was diapers and diaper bag, wipes, bottles, diaper genie, oh yeah a crib to put her to sleep in.. for that my budget sky rocketed… i bought one item that cluttered my kitchen.. it was the sterilizer.. I never even seem to open it because i never got around to reading the instruction.. so before the 30days ended i asked my husband to go return it because it was 80 dollars alone.
anyways that was a lesson learnt for me that I would see if i open the package with in a day of buying the product to see its use, if not it has no use in the house and it goes back to the store unopened.
Our son was born premature and before any showers were scheduled, so by necessity we bought as we went. My opinion is every baby’s different – mine hated the swing that we bought in case it soothed him, and slings/carriers also only annoyed him. Other items I was skeptical of at first have been big hits, like the bottle warmer that had insulated bottle storage so midnight feedings no longer meant a trip downstairs to the kitchen. I say borrow as much as possible, keep receipts for easy returns, and make sure to overbuy onesies and burp cloths.
Oh, and one of our biggest splurges was a slipcovered glider armchair – having a super comfortable spot to rock away the midnight crying and read books to an ever-curious toddler is worth every penny. Plus, it looks good enough to end up in the living room. I think that’s the one item that I would recommend everyone buy (you know, besides the necessities).
I think a better question is what are the most useful items you used as parents. We had a hand-me-down crib and changing table but we used neither. We co-sleep (no, I’m not looking for an argument here) so we didn’t use the crib. And we use cloth diapers/covers so we put the pad for the changing table (the puffy part) and a changing pad thingy between the sinks on our double sink in the master bath. It fits perfectly and lets us use running water on the cloth wipes (which we made from flannel). We also love slings and have about 8 different ones depending on child size, purpose, how long we’ll be wearing the child, and whether my partner wants to nurse while we’re out. We got a baby monitor with both babies but neither lasted long and we didn’t need them. Exersaucer is great but we got a hand-me-down. A bouncy seat is great but again it was a hand-me-down. One of the best things: a yoga ball. You can sit on it and bounce the baby easy. It’s better than either a rocking chair or a glider.
But what are necessities? Warm clothes, blankets, diapers, car seat.
And Camera! Not because you need it but because you deserve it.
I bought all that unnecessary baby stuff, most of which was donated away once my daugter rejected it. 2 things that she and I loved which are not realy “necessities”; a jogging stroller, and a vibrating bouncy seat. The stroller has kept me sane, and let be blow off some steam. When my daughter was an infant she would sit in her bouncy, vibraty seat happily for hours. She would even fall asleep in it. Best investment ever!
Almost every item you mentioned we were given at a shower and NEVER once used. The one thing I LOVED which I bought when my son was about 5 months old (and I wished I’d had bought earlier) was a bumbo baby seat. We loved it and couldn’t “live” without it. Enter baby #2 and it was no good for her as she would arch her back til she tipped over!
We never had a high chair and never missed it. I did have a big bulky steam sterilizer and used it all the time but I actually foung just boiling the bottles in a big pot on the stove easier.
One more tip. If you are adopting a newborn and you’re buying diapers don’t get too many in the newborn size. My son stayed in them for 2 months because he took a long time to gain weight, but my daughter was out of them within days. The last thing you want is a case of newborn dipers hanging around your house unused!
Your strategy is a sound one, and don’t discount the potential of hand-me-downs for such products. I received TONS of it, and about 50% of the originally expensive equipment was a hit–the other 50% was completely rejected. If you don’t have friends to pass down equipment, at least try getting it second-hand so you minimize the impact of spending on things that may get used for 3 months…if your little one likes it at all.
Loved: front carrier, exersaucer, play gym-mat; hated: sling carrier, jumperoo, bumbo. FOR SAFETY PURPOSES, do NOT get the wipe warmer–Parents magazine rates it among the top un-safe “safety” gadgets due to the fire hazard.
Congrats, and best wishes!
As a Professional Organizer and adoptive mom of a now 12 year old, I think your no-clutter approach is perfect! The only “newfangled” item that I purchased that I highly recommend is the Diaper Genie. Best diaper pail ever – traps the odors and stores the dirty diapers ingeniously until it’s full enough to empty. [Since I live in a NYC apartment, the “touch it only once” approach suggested by another reader wouldn’t work here).
I think you’ve got the right idea. One thing I found helped. I could “test” things out elsewhere (at friends’ houses, in the church nursery, in his regular daycare) first to see if my son liked it. If he was really into something, then I would splurge and buy one to keep at home. The only major thing I bought in this department was the Exersaucer, my son really loved it at school, so his grandma bestowed one on us for home (especially because it kept our two big dogs from knocking him down!) Once we tried our friends’ swing, my nephew’s bouncy seat, we saw we probably didn’t need those.
Clutter that cannot be avoided? All the tiny clothes that baby outgrows so fast. My home has very small closets,very little attic space, and no basement- since my son outgrows his clothes quickly, I have to be fast about boxing them up to place in the attic (or just loaning them to a girlfriend with a baby 6 months younger), or the piles just seem to grow around our ears.
Clutter I will never limit? Books! My 14 month old has been surrounded by books his whole short life, and it pleases me to no end that he drags them around, brings them to me, pretends to read them to himself. Even if it means there’s small piles of them everywhere, books are the good kind of clutter to me!
We did our very best to avoid buying tons of baby stuff, given our teeny Manhattan apartment, and thus didn’t buy ourselves a swing. In the end, when I couldn’t put the baby down for ten minutes to do ANYthing without her waking up, we caved, and it’s been one of the best purchases we’ve made. Supposedly swings are hit or miss (some babies love them, some babies don’t), but for us, it’s been a life saver. I can finally shower during the day and grab a bite to eat. We also couldn’t have lived without our Sleepy Wrap. My daughter will sometimes take two hour naps strapped to my chest while I work at my computer. VERY handy.
Clutter – wipe warmer, travel wipe warmer, bottle drying racks (paper towels work pretty well)
Along with the things you already have, I would recommend some sort of bouncy seat or just somewhere to put the baby when he/she is not in your arms. We had a papasan and it vibrated and played music, but those things weren’t really critical. It was just nice to be able to put the baby down that wasn’t on the floor or in the crib.
We don’t have a lot of room for baby clutter, so I have kept stuff to a minimum. That being said, we have very little money, so I will ALWAYS accept gifts or stuff from someone. Don’t get me wrong: I am NOT a hoarder. But my mother taught me an important lesson:
Always take someone’s handmedowns (or anything else) even if it’s not useful. If you can’t use it then, pass it along to the thrift store or freecycle. If you’re quick to take someone else’s clutter, they will always think of you when the good stuff is ready to be passed on. It saved my parents many times during financial stress and it’s helped us. I absolutely loved getting boxes of grown out of diapers and clothes. I constantly edit our stuff, so it’s not a big pile. But I’m grateful for the thoughts.
We got along wonderfully without a swing, but my son LOVES a bouncy chair, an exersaucer, a diaper pail, and a cheap playmat. He did not like his bumbo, but he learned to roll over so early, he wouldn’t stay still in it. It’s one of the few things I’m keeping for our next child. The rest of everything was gotten free (freecycle and the like), and is just passed on when it’s done. It’s stress and clutter free!
I agree with you 100% We live on a tiny island in a tiny house where space is limited. When our first child was born, we where overwhelmed with gifts of items we never used. The diaper warmer was one of them. It just didn’t fit our lifestyle. The house was strewn with “baby litter” as I called it. It was too much stimulation for the baby. When the second was born, I said there was three things I needed: white onesies (we did not find out the sex), a breast pump and a double stroller. http://thebarefootmom.wordpress.com/?s=double+stroller
One thing that I can’t live without this go’round is a stain stick at the changing table (which is just an old dresser that houses ALL of the 2nd baby’s belongings right now….diapers…onesies…nightclothes….) It comes in super handy when you need to treat stains immediately!
All in all, LESS IS MORE!!!
A lot of the baby stuff we were told we *had* to have were just personal faves of the parents giving us advice. One friend loved baby gowns (as did I, actually) for a newborn, making for easy access and no snaps to change those diapers. Another hated em. What did we waste $$ on? For my 2 kids, I’d have to say strollers. We carried both of our kids a LOT up through age 3. Neither one of them would sit in the stroller before 6 mos (negating my endless research on which strollers would fully recline – ha! I was dreaming of them sleeping in there). I never mastered slings (waste of $ and space on multiple models) and was kind of addicted to baby carriers. There is a local woman here who sells baby carriers and lets you try them out – I would totally rec’d that. I think you may be in DC – she’s Trish Thackston at the Baby Hammock. My kids (and us adults) loved the Bjorn and the Ergo, but every baby is different. (Your logic is right on target!) Also, if you aren’t lucky enough to have hand me downs from your friends, there are *lots* of local consignment sales which is totally the way to go. Oh, and we never bothered to buy a changing table, just attached one of those snap on cushy things to our hutch in our dining room!
One of the best things I received as a gift for my son was a Baby Einstein play mat. He loved the flashing light and music. Also, I love my Diaper Genie–keeps everything smell-free.
There are two things that were a waste of money for me: a Bumbo seat and a jumparoo. My son is active and he just didn’t like to be restrained.
Two things I received and thought I wouldn’t like but love: hand-me-downs and a portable crib. My son has a large number of cousins and the hand-me-down pool is big and the clothes in excellent condition. I am rarely tempted to buy clothes for him unless it’s a special occasion. My Dad and Stepmom bought us a portable crib (smaller than a regular crib but not a folding crib) that has allowed us to move my son’s bed to our room when we need to keep an eye on him.
My second son was born 6 years after my first. By that time we had weeded through all the baby products. We do have a wipe warmer. When it has run out on a chillier day, my son shudders when we use a cold wipe. This time around, we skipped the diaper genie. We tried another diaper holder but still it smelled. We do the wrap it up and put it out method. The swing is a life-saver and don’t forget the pack and play. Other than that, a good changing pad fixed to a dresser and you are good to go!
I could not agree with you more regarding recommendations on items for babies. I have four children, the last two arriving as a set (twins), and your list of “necessities” is right on target. Exersaucers, swings, bouncers – I have had babies that loved one or more of these items, and babies that thought they were total bunk. Especially with the twins – I knew folks that actually had two of EACH of these! Yikes! Imagine the space loss! One item that I found useful to a great extreme was a vibrating sling-back seat for my second son. He adored that vibration option. But in general – no wipes warmers, no diaper genie (seriously – it is a great idea, but a small trashcan emptied daily effects the same end), no exersaucer, no high chair (with babies 3 & 4, used booster seats that strapped to the dining room chairs – great space saver), BUT – one thing you DO need every day of your child’s life? Love. Love. Love.
The swing– “you have to get a swing [husband's name] passed out every time we put him in it” is all I heard for the last three months of my pregnancy. We got one after the baby was born, he screamed bloody murder every time we put him in it. It’s huge and it cost to much. It’s been reboxed and sits collecting dust in the closet. Maybe the next one will like it.
I am a mother of 4, and the Bumbo chair was just new in our are when I was pregnant with #3. I liked the look of it, but not the price tag, and gave it a pass. I found a used one just before the arrival of #4, and figured I would give it a try. I love it!! It is one of the handiest baby things around! My guy is just about to turn 1, and the little chair is still in regular use, especially with the tray added on. It works as baby seat, highchair, travel chair, everything. I would sit it on my kitchen counter when I was baking (obviously never leaving him alone there), take it to the beach, to restaurants, on visits to friends… It wipes down easily, is light to pack around, is compact, is soft and comfy for the baby, and I found my guy really liked being able to sit up and look around, rather than recline like most baby seats and swings do. Highly recommended!
You don’t even need formula, barring extenuating circumstances.
But yeah, I totally agree. Our 1000 square foot house requires us to ration space. There’s so much unnecessary baby crap out there. With cloth diapers, breastfeeding, and making our own baby food, I hardly ever buy anything at all for the baby.
Things we bought and didn’t use:
Baby swing (we actually bought this as a foldable attachment for our infant carrier carseat, so not too much clutter/expense)–our daughter didn’t like it.
Pack N Play–my parents ended up buying a crib for their house as they watch her on weekends when we both travel for work (maybe 10-12 weekends a year).
My mother-in-law went on a baby clothes binge. My daughter ended up being born prematurely and was very small for her age. Any seasonal clothes (sweaters, short sleeve light dresses/rompers) ended up being the wrong size for the season. I recommend only buying all-season clothes (onesies, tees, pajamas) until you know how big your child is/will be.
Thing on your list that I think is a necessity:
Video monitor–my daughter started pulling up at about 7 months and didn’t figure out how to get down till about 9 months. Knowing when she was stuck standing as opposed to crying in her sleep for some other reason was priceless and prevented a lot of having to run into her room, have her see us, and increase the crying. It’s still useful at 20 months. Babies/toddlers cry or make noise in their sleep a lot–better to know if they are awake and upset as opposed to just moving around and vocalizing.
We had our first baby 3 months ago, and went through exactly what you’re going through now. And we did exactly the same thing. Nothing went on the registry unless I thought it was essential.
Therefore, we did not register for a swing, bouncy chair, sleep positioner, baby bathtub, or numerous other things people told us we “had” to have.
I’ve borrowed a swing from my sister (my baby loves it), and will be returning it to her as soon as my little one outgrows them.
Congratulations! How exciting for you.
The only thing I’d add to your list is a stroller. All the rest really depends on the kid. My older boy needed a swing or a rocking chair to get to sleep for many months. My younger guy is perfectly happy still.
As my friends and family loaded us down with a ga-zillion tons of baby stuff, I kept thinking to myself “In many cultures, “baby stuff” is a sling.”
Congratulations!! I am a regular reader (and sometimes commenter) on unclutterer – and yet I must have missed this announcement (I was out of town and I’m making my way through the SimplyStated I’ve missed). Congratulations! I can’t wait to read unclutterer with a baby in the house. We aren’t due for another 26 months (so we obviously aren’t pregnant either) but I’m excited to read about your parenting adventures and how to maintain structured and uncluttered with a child. Congrats!!
Someone mentioned some of these already: On round 2 I discovered as much as I did like the qualities of our high chair, a portable booster chair (reclining) could have been used in our kitchen…the bottle warmer worked well in the middle of the night for our friends who had a two story house-since our bedrooms were right off the kitchen, we didn’t need that. Target clothes are FINE! We didn’t even use the crib…and I would have felt smarter if I went with the rocking recliner like my sis did instead of the blue glider…
Loved: the slings, the Baby Bjorn, the pacifier, the reclining booster seat, Butt Paste, the dresser that allowed us to put a changing pad on top of it. The bookshelf that had a place for bins for toys as well. Never found a really fabulous diaper bag–I tried them all, though. ; ) Congrats!