File this one under: Is That Really Necessary? Or, more accurately, under: Eww, Really?
I was reading a fashion magazine yesterday when I came upon a teeny ad in the back for a product that left me baffled—and sort of horrified. It looked a lot like the mouth guard both my husband and I use at night to keep from grinding our teeth, only the shape was more of a flattened-out egg—or like an enormous wad of clear wax earplugs, just all squished down. On top of this translucent piece of plastic were three pink letters — JFC.
Turns out, this little plastic item, the Jewels Finnish Cover, or JFC, was a guard of sorts, only it's for your most private, sensitive areas. It's been designed specifically for people who are devotees of the Brazilian bikini wax, but who are simultaneously worried about staying safe from stray bits of hot wax. (The safety of this process was recently in the news when the state of New Jersey considered banning the practice following two hospitalizations following the aggressive, leave-no-traces hair removal procedure. The ban wasn't upheld.)
The website earnestly touts "wide retentive wings" to give "maximum hold and extra material allowance", as extra evidence of how safe the item will keep you. It can also be trimmed to fit with a pair of scissors.
Oh, and about the hot pink lettering. It turns out that the covers can be customized to your own initials (or whatever other letters you want on the cover, I guess; the limit is six letter) in a range of colors. And for people looking to go even more…umm…upscale (?), coming soon are models that feature sterling silver or gold overlay and a precious or semi-precious stone.
So call me prudish or silly or whatever, but this whole thing both freaked me out and made me giggle uncontrollably—particularly when I got to the ordering age. The cost: $59!!!
Listen, I'm no stranger to the bikini wax and I've even tried a Brazilian once or twice…but doesn't this make you just want to laugh out loud and sort of cringe? Still, I guess that in the name of safety and hygiene, every little bit of effort counts.